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Post by Stardrifter on Jan 3, 2014 0:07:39 GMT -5
The issue was short yet the scene was effective. Quentin definitely came across well and disgusting. Though some of the dialogue between them, especially the initial argument, felt odd, it was mostly well done.
That said, what is this? A series about a creeper with mind powers? Because that's all I get from this first issue. If this were a comic I wouldn't pick up #2. As well done as it was, I have no interest to follow a series based on such a loathsome character.
I know we aren't writing comics, but it seems to be a problem a lot of people have on these sites. Which is a very poorly done #1 issue. Your first issue is a statement about what your series is and what it's all about. It should tell the reader in broad terms what to expect and hook them on your premise. This issue may have worked as a #0. I would have been more forgiving if it were. But as New X-Men #1 it was a failure.
I don't mean to pick on you specifically, as I've seen many writers do this, but this finally made me want to really say something about it. But as I said, for everything other than being your#1 issue, it was well done. Keep em coming.
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Post by jordan on Jan 3, 2014 12:51:46 GMT -5
I have to respectfully disagree with your definition of an Issue #1 and of mine being a failure under your definition. My New X-Men #1 does, and very well I think, portray the key concept of the series--New mutants in a new world, with Quire being the first of which I focus on. I give you a mystery and a conflict while I take this issue to flesh out the character of Quire whom I do add the stepping stones to a deeper personality to with the last line of my issue.
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Post by Drake on Jan 3, 2014 13:34:50 GMT -5
Just read it. It's certainly a well written issue. Quentin's appropriately rude, awkward, and douchey. However, he still needs a catch, something to make us, as readers, like him. I hope that's coming in the future. Actually, in fact, the entire series needs a catch. Some sort of bad guy to root against. I think that's Star's biggest problem with it being "issue 1" is that no enemy/conflict is present in this issue. You definitely establish the characters well enough, but there's no reason beyond interesting psycho-analyses to come back for the next issue. There's no big bad, which could be anything from cancer, to Mr. Sinister, to conflict with the characters. The mystery of the woman in Quire's mind just isn't good enough, especially considering that it's fairly obvious who it is.
As far as grammar and spelling errors, I didn't catch any. There's a few awkward lines of dialogue, but that's it.
7.5/10 with the hope of it getting more exciting
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Post by jordan on Jan 3, 2014 15:04:06 GMT -5
I think that you'll find that it isn't nearly as obvious as you think. When I write, I write the story for who my audience is. In Batman, I couldn't have a mystery about who the Nightwing is with a little research showing it to be Dick Grayson, so I made some changes. I write for the audience. You guys obviously already know a lot about the X-Men, so I've had to make a lot of changes, such as who the woman will end up being.
And I really either don't think I portrayed it well enough, or you guys just didn't read well enough, but the last line was meant to give Quentin a catch. A catch of disparity.
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Post by Drake on Jan 3, 2014 15:06:54 GMT -5
I look forward to the twist then.
I'll reread the last line. We'll see how I feel about it then.
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Post by Drake on Jan 3, 2014 15:08:57 GMT -5
So, I get it's all about to go downhill. I don't know. It still doesn't feel like there's a big conflict. I'm waiting to really judge this title though. Just look at Uncanny. I didn't like #1, but #2 was considerably better and I'm looking forward to more there.
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Post by jordan on Jan 20, 2014 21:18:41 GMT -5
#2 is out. I just wanted to even the playing field between Uncann'y 3 issues and New's 1, so now its 3-2, Uncanny.
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Post by Drake on Jan 20, 2014 21:44:11 GMT -5
THE GOOD: -Quentin's more likable. He's really just a lot more relatable and honestly more realistic than the comics' Quentin. -All around better issue. -Wolverine's intro was interesting -The cliffhanger was exciting, and the blonde psychic reveal, while rushed, was a surprise.
THE BAD: -I really hated Scott and Logan's exchange. By that, I mean I hated Scott's portion of it. "Why help the kid?" WHAT? It's his job!! And does he just want mutants to die off??? What the hell?! Sorry for that....but he was totally out of the character there. He was just really unlikable and un-Cyclops-like. -The blonde psychic reveal was, as mentioned, rushed and thus didn't carry much weight.
7.25/10. Would've been about an 8 if not for the Scott characterization, as, well, he's one of my favorite characters...ever.
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Post by jordan on Jan 20, 2014 23:21:59 GMT -5
Just letting you know 2 things:
1) Cyclops wasn't out of character, and you'll find out why later on. 2) The reveal of the blonde was rushed purposely, because the story is from Quentin's POV and it all happened fast to him.
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New X-Men
Jan 21, 2014 12:26:04 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Stardrifter on Jan 21, 2014 12:26:04 GMT -5
I liked this more than the first issue, but not by much. Unlike Drake, I still don't like Quentin. I've said before how first person is hit or miss with me, and when I don't like the character it's a miss.
The biggest problem is that reading every stray thought Quentin had was insufferable. And unrealistic at times. He goes from freaking out over Wolverine to being rather blasé over the Sentinel.
I did like the plot more. This did a better job establishing the series. The hinted at backstory was interesting. Even if far reaching. Funny how none of the other series ever mentioned a Human/Mutant war. But I guess that's the nature of creating a universe with other people and doing it piecemeal.
So yeah, end of the day it wasn't bad but I can't stand Quentin of his thoughts and so I didn't like it. If you are going to stick with first person, I hope you either tone it down or switch to different characters or something. Keep em coming.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 21, 2014 13:09:37 GMT -5
Unlike Drake, I like comic Quentin more. He may be a bastard but he can still be a good guy when he has to. I also wasn't a fan of the first issue for the same reason as Stardrifter. But the second issue is definitely and did what the first issue failed to do. Make me interested in where your series is going. Although I found Cyclop's actions contradictory. He seemed to go from saying screw helping mutants to asking Quire if he wanted to join them. I will give the benefit of a doubt but that is what it seemed like to me. And Quire was quite improved in the second issue.
6.5/10 for the first issue. 7.5/10 for the second issue.
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C_Miller
Junior Member
All-Star Marvel's Honorary Canadian
Posts: 102
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Post by C_Miller on Jan 21, 2014 19:08:07 GMT -5
Can we talk about the clear sexism of Quentin saying that Alison probably thinks everyone is going to rape her?
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 21, 2014 19:09:23 GMT -5
Quentin is a sexist. It will only become a problem if everyone adopts the same attitude.
Edit: Okay, not a sexist. But he is an asshole who thinks he is better than everyone. At least the comic version. Not sure how much of the personality is unchanged in Jordan's version of him.
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Post by Drake on Jan 21, 2014 19:30:45 GMT -5
Actually, in my experience Quentin is a sexist, not just an asshole. I was fine with it because of that.
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New X-Men
Jan 21, 2014 19:32:05 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Stardrifter on Jan 21, 2014 19:32:05 GMT -5
Can we talk about the clear sexism of Quentin saying that Alison probably thinks everyone is going to rape her? Yeah I viewed that as the character and not the writer. Which is one of the reasons I don't like the character.
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Post by jordan on Jan 21, 2014 19:58:27 GMT -5
Can we talk about the clear sexism of Quentin saying that Alison probably thinks everyone is going to rape her? Yeah, Quentin is a sexist characer and, even in the comics, it would not be past him to say things like that.
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C_Miller
Junior Member
All-Star Marvel's Honorary Canadian
Posts: 102
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Post by C_Miller on Jan 21, 2014 22:38:06 GMT -5
Two issues in and we've only focused on one character, if I have nothing to latch onto, I'm going to have trouble justifying continuing. There's nothing to his character that makes me interested in continuing. I hope this picks up with either making Quentin sympathetic or getting characters that I can get behind.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 15:14:49 GMT -5
I think, I'm only going to echo what others have said. I think, well, there's nothing really there to care about. Quentin isn't likable, and he doesn't actually have, to me that is, a definitive personality. He's a rol of cliches, nervous male wanting a woman, angry youth confronted with nothing proper to rebel against, curious observers and worried victim. These are things that could really show what Quentin is about, how he reacts, yet I feel it's all kind of "stock footage" he reacts in a predictable and normal way, despite, at this point, being the series main protagonist.
- Some of the descriptions are a bit over wrought. The introduction to the whole city feel and sound at the sight of issue one? I get you were trying to go for atmosphere, but it didn't make a huge amount of sense in what was being said. It was almost a thought you were trying to build it up as a kind of modern, gothic batman introduction, and instead, it was just a kind of silly non-sense paragraph.
- Not sure I agree about comic Quentin being a sexist and thinking women think's everyone's a rapist. Let's take into account that technically, if we're on the same footing as Purple Man, then Quentin has already mentally raped someone by making them do what he wants them to. I think Quentin is a controversial figure, deliberately so, but doesn't necessarily believe his own hype all the time. Aaron went a long way in not only humanising the character, but also, in giving him proper motivation - when he first appeared, he wasn't a pink haired revolutionary, he was a kid in glasses who just wanted to question things, not unlike many young people who question religion etc.
- All things being equal, you're doing a good job of setting up some sub-plots. The Wolverine/Cyclops relationship warrants more exploration. The Sentinels and the previous set up of the Mutant War is fun - I think technically, the stories you're putting out aren't bad at all, and there's a lot of good writing in there, it's just the points laid out above detract from that because its pulling focus from the story and onto the character elements and little inconsistencies.
I hope we see some more!
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