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Post by Drake on Jan 26, 2013 12:59:06 GMT -5
Where you can discuss and review the world-changing mini series that will start it all!
Issue 1 is up!
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 26, 2013 14:05:08 GMT -5
I only have one complaint. IT IS TOO SHORT! Otherwise, I absolutely enjoyed it. Seriously, everything else was great, it is just too short. It was certainly powerful with what few words you put down. 8.5/10 Because the shortness of the story ruined it for me although everything else made up for it.
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Post by Drake on Jan 26, 2013 16:01:01 GMT -5
That's intended. Jordan and I agreed that these issues should be short as to tell a story but not to give anything away.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 26, 2013 16:31:12 GMT -5
Oh...should I also make my Prelude issue short as well?
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Post by jordan on Jan 26, 2013 16:52:20 GMT -5
Short-ish.
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Post by jordan on Jan 26, 2013 17:10:53 GMT -5
Issue #2 will be out soon. I just have to work some things out with Drake first.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 27, 2013 17:53:35 GMT -5
I enjoyed it very much. It wasn't as good as Drake's (I don't know why exactly. Just didn't seem as powerful nor got me as interested.) but it was very well written and was a great introduction to Hank Pym. 8/10.
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Post by Drake on Jan 27, 2013 18:22:32 GMT -5
I edited this just a little bit, not enough to consider myself editor admittedly, but I still got to say I enjoyed it. Agree with SK, 8/10.
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Post by randomfan on Jan 31, 2013 18:15:51 GMT -5
So I liked both of these issues, the first was perfect for showing the future and why Kang would go back in time. The second was a nice introduction to both Hank and Brian, and I really hope the last line of Hank's part means that he's going to be able to both shrink really small and grow really big.
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Post by Drake on Jan 31, 2013 18:47:51 GMT -5
Actually, that's a good point, random. Am I allowed to have Hank grow and shrink, Jordan?
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Post by jordan on Jan 31, 2013 21:33:55 GMT -5
Yes, I intended to show all of his powers and all the things he could do manipulating the PPs such as creating vacuums, growing/shrinking etc.
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Post by Drake on Jan 31, 2013 21:55:47 GMT -5
How do the vacuums work?
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 31, 2013 22:07:35 GMT -5
Are Pym Particles more powerful in this universe?
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Post by jordan on Jan 31, 2013 23:03:01 GMT -5
Pym Particles move extremely quickly, they end up making vacuums.
And my idea for the Pym Particles are for them to be one of the most powerful scientific revolutions in history.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 1, 2013 9:38:43 GMT -5
#1: Short, but wonderfully done. It said everything it needed to say and did so with subtlety. It really feels like it could be the opening to an Avengers movie. The graphic really helps as well, especially since this is a comic story we're talking about here. There were some minor grammar stuff, as there usually is in anything posted, mostly some misplaced commas, but nothing that actually detracted from the story.
#2: Felt a little rushed. Yes both issues were short, but #1 felt like a single solid scene while #2 felt like an entire issue was fast-forwarded through. The story itself is great. Brian Boreman/Brian Banner confuses me, but that's only because I can't place the canon character. I have to assume he's one of the many Hulk knock-offs. He's a little cliche for immediately jumping to the "We can use this new technology to take over the world and commit ALL the war!" Seems contrived for a character who, until this point as far as we know, is another scientist with the same background as Hank Pym. Some minor grammar stuff, mostly misplaced punctuation, but nothing glaring or detracting from the story. Obviously this version of Hank Pym has a little more varied powerset, like potentially seeing the future, but I'm fine with that. I'm wondering if you're also going to do the whole ant/insect control thing or if you're just sticking with the Pym Particles. Speaking of which, the one thing that bugs me is this line: "And now, after years and years of study, a journey through the nucleus of hydrogen, and one really trippy summer night and Hank did it…he’d found Pym Particles." The sentence itself is fine, but why does he already call them Pym Particles? Seems presumptuous to have already named the most revolutionary scientific discovery ever after himself right then and there. What could have fixed this comment is perhaps an aside comment by Hank that he's spent years theorizing and publishing papers on a theoretical "Pym Particle" and he's only now just discovered it. That's the only way it can make sense to me at least.
But anyway, both issues are good so far. Short, but that's to be expected at this stage.
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Post by Drake on Feb 5, 2013 22:06:39 GMT -5
Glad you liked #1, Bob! To answer your question about ants/insects, I'll be dealing with that and Pym's specific powers set and type as a hero in Avengers.
Also, jordan, I have two questions about Pym Particles. Can Hank use them to create vacuums or is that automatic and accidental? Specifics please.
And are Pym Particles a form of, or specifically, tachyon particles? It would make sense with the whole future-seeing thing. I guess they could be an entire new, unknown type of molecule. Whatever you think.
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Post by jordan on Feb 6, 2013 0:17:47 GMT -5
He can manipulate the PPs, and I've no idea what a tachyon is, so I'll leave that up to you.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Feb 6, 2013 0:31:33 GMT -5
It is a hypothetical particle that always moves faster than the speed of light. It is theorized that if they exist, you can move through time by using them. That is of course if tachyon particles exist as well.
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Post by Drake on Feb 6, 2013 18:26:16 GMT -5
Yep, SK's right on it.
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Post by jordan on Mar 2, 2013 12:41:41 GMT -5
Prelude 3 is OUT! Watch how the Man on Fire becomes the next Avenger!
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Post by All Star Silentking on Mar 2, 2013 12:58:53 GMT -5
It was a nice way of giving Johnny and Doom to join the conflict that shall form the Avengers. Also, Doom is still the best character here. 8/10 Should I have Pym recruit Cap, or let Drake handle that in either the Spidey Prelude issue or the actual Avengers title?
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Post by Drake on Mar 2, 2013 17:47:48 GMT -5
All the recruiting will be done in Avengers. Only the villains are to be recruited.
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Post by jordan on Mar 2, 2013 23:31:49 GMT -5
It was a nice way of giving Johnny and Doom to join the conflict that shall form the Avengers. Also, Doom is still the best character here. 8/10 Should I have Pym recruit Cap, or let Drake handle that in either the Spidey Prelude issue or the actual Avengers title? Thank you, I'm very proud of Doom.
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Post by Drake on Mar 3, 2013 9:33:36 GMT -5
It was a bit...odd. Pym's characterization felt way off, especially considering how you wrote him in his own issue and how he is portrayed in the comics. I would have preferred if you let me do the assembling, but I guess with how you left it, it works. And just who is Doom's "love"? Now that you've mentioned and used him/her, I kind of have to know for Avengers. Pm me.
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Post by jordan on Mar 3, 2013 12:02:50 GMT -5
I don't see how Pym's character was off. He's trying to save the world. That was his goal established at the end of the second issue.
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 8, 2013 17:59:12 GMT -5
Prelude 1
Rather short, but effective in building a tone and a sense of dread. Not a whole lot to say beyond it being a good opening scene if not a full issue.
Prelude 2
Writing was fine. Hank and Brian's argument turned violent pretty quickly. I suppose emotions were running high, but it wasn't very "heroic" of Hank.
Only other issue is the vagueness of the Pym Particles and how they can do everything apparently. Might as well have named them Magic Particles.
Prelude 3
This one confused me a bit. I don't know if its because I haven't read the rest of the site yet or because of timey-whimey business. It wasn't bad, though it didn't really have much to do with the character it was titled after.
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Post by Drake on Mar 9, 2013 23:25:18 GMT -5
Prelude 4 is up!
And Jordan, please pm me so we can clear up all the Hulk stuff.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Mar 10, 2013 0:07:05 GMT -5
It was a good issue. Was a little thrown off since what caused the team-up was different from what we talked about. But that is just something minor. I will say that it is a spoiler to your Spider-Man story, but spoilers to Cap are actually forgone conclusions once you know that Cap will be in the Avengers. I will also say that you portray Cap well. Also, there were some grammar mistakes. At least one. nothing too major, just happened to spot it. One last thing before I do the rating. Would it be okay if I have Cap's issue takes place before this? What I mean is that Cap's portion of the issue ends with him about to battle Rhino. 8/10.
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Post by Drake on Mar 10, 2013 11:20:14 GMT -5
Yeah, that'd be fine. But please don't have Pym go to Cap to recruit him. I have big plans on how to do that very well.
Also, that is exactly what I told you I was planning. The thing you're thinking of (trying not to spoil) will happen in Avengers, and be Cap's opening Avengers scene.
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Post by jordan on Mar 10, 2013 12:07:01 GMT -5
I liked it. I liked it a lot. Now I'm even more confident in your ability to write Avengers, just off of the combined humor, action and character relations.
I will say that I'm not the biggest fan of past-tense fiction, but that's just a minor pet-peeve of my own. There was one spelling mistake that I could pick out, and if you can't figure out what the sentence is actually saying, it makes it kind of humorous. 8.7/10
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