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Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 1, 2013 11:52:02 GMT -5
Issue #1 has been released, getting the X-Men board rolling!
Let me know your compliments, complaints and critiques here. Thanks for reading.
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Post by Drake on Dec 1, 2013 20:11:25 GMT -5
It was good. Not great, but good. Some of the dialogue fell flat, and there were more grammar errors in this issue than I would have expected due to your past work. My biggest complaint would be that this issue didn't really give us anything to be excited about. I hope the plot picks up and we can really get a sense of where you're going with the series. After getting some hints of what's planned over pm, I'm excited. I think this'll end up being great, it just started out slow. 7/10.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 2, 2013 7:46:49 GMT -5
This issue very gently and indirectly set up the upcoming plots.
There were a lot of little things mentioned along the way. The webbing, Logan, various relationships, and obviously the conversation at the end.
It will pick up and be expanded upon.
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Post by jordan on Dec 3, 2013 11:04:06 GMT -5
I'm giving it a 7.2/10. It gave us the basic sense and direction of the series, but, if I may expand, my thoughts on it are like this:
Do you remember writing in Elementary School? Your teacher said write a Five Paragraph Essay. Paragraph one was the thesis and intro. The thesis told you exactly where you're going, took away any surprise and impact and made you generally less excited for the paper. The thesis helped you plan where you were going, but it just wasn't as exciting.
This issue feels like the first paragraph of a five paragraph essay structure. It kind of lays everything else, tells you what's coming, and it doesn't do it in the prettiest way, either. I try and save my thesis for the end of a paper, tell you what you just read about, wrap it up and explain the bits you didn't get. That's my personal opinion.
Still, it was a decent start and I hope to see it get better from here!
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Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 21, 2013 17:46:31 GMT -5
Issue #2 released. Again, a bit on the shorter side, but more plots have been advanced and created.
Issue #3 will be longer and will develop more characters.
Thoughts on #2: The Brotherhood?
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Post by Drake on Dec 21, 2013 18:03:11 GMT -5
Much, much better issue. Your characterization was good, and it was great to see Angel actually doing something for once. It was short but it told a whole story. I really didn't have any problems with this issue. It's just a solid story.
7.5/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 21, 2013 18:30:48 GMT -5
Glad you liked this one more. I'm hoping the make the next issue longer and to give you a deeper look into the X-Men themselves. Plus, a certain someone's favorite character will be making an appearance.
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Post by Drake on Dec 21, 2013 21:06:04 GMT -5
CYCLOPSSS!!!
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C_Miller
Junior Member
All-Star Marvel's Honorary Canadian
Posts: 102
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Post by C_Miller on Dec 22, 2013 11:55:13 GMT -5
I decided to check these out as my first reviews since I probably would have done X-Men had they been available when I showed up.
Anyways, both of your issues were pretty good. It's hard to find too much wrong with them on a purely negative level. The problem you have is that it just feels like there are too many characters, which admittedly is a problem that the X-Men have in the actual comics. So, don't feel bad, you're just emulating the style that the source material has laid out for you. But here we have a lot of different plots going on all more or less at the same time and it doesn't feel like any are given their proper due.
One thing that I generally tend to like to do as a writer for big teams like this is to use one character to focus all of the action in to. Kitty Pryde works in a great way for this. But there are plenty that work just as well. Iceman would work too and I thought that's where you were going, but then he more or less disappeared from focus after that first scene.
I have no doubt that this will be great once you iron every thing out and get everything established, but you're running into the inevitable problem that everyone would if they focused on such a large team without an origin story.
But seriously, there's a lot of good stuff here, keep it up.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 22, 2013 12:53:41 GMT -5
I appreciate the thoughts. I agree, there are a lot of characters to cover. I sort of used the first issue to mention each character and show where they were. As the issues continue, I will be able to focus on smaller groups or individuals at a time.
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 28, 2013 20:51:57 GMT -5
#1
Kind of a lackluster start. It was mostly just introduction and awkward exposition. There was nothing beyond it being the X-Men to really spark an interest to continue.
It's an interesting idea to make mutants more accepted. But other than that, what is this series about? All I get from this issue is there's a school of people with powers, which are called mutants, and graduation lead to joining something called the X-Men. What are they? Why do I care about them? What are their goals? Relations with humans? Well seems like they achieved those goals already. So...yay?
It just didn't do a very good job introducing the series beyond the exposition.
#2
Action was okay. It seemed to be just as bare bones. It's the second issue and there isn't much characterization beyond names, powers, and who is dating who.
Magneto's motivations are bizarre. You've made no strides toward showing any kind of hatred or fear toward mutants. You've even shown that things are good. Heck the X-Men got a NObel Prize and Cyclops said they've made huge strides. The attack happens at a human/mutant mixer.
So if everything is so good, Magneto's assertion that things are bad seems baseless. And his plan is to prove humans hate mutants by...doing evil things to make them hate mutants? It's like a coworker proving I hate them by randomly punching me in the face. What?
Some of the ideas have potential but I think it needs a lot more polish. Keep em coming.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jan 19, 2014 21:52:09 GMT -5
Issue #3 has been released
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Post by Drake on Jan 19, 2014 22:09:31 GMT -5
I'm going to try out a new review format here. Tell me what you think.
THE GOOD: -Solid character interactions. Your Bobby and Rogue do have noticeable chemistry. -CYCLOPS! -I like the direction you're taking the Storm plot in. It's unique and definitely adds a much needed push for drama within the team (even if Storm isn't a member). -All of your characters continue to have unique voices.
THE BAD: -Bobby's "best friend" thing with Rogue seemed forced, especially considering we hadn't seen them hang out until then. -The issue felt rushed. There were parts that flowed well, but in general I think you should slow down a little in terms of general pacing, not plot. Plot's moving by fine. -Jean's still the weakest character. Nothing really stands out about her. -This one isn't necessarily your fault, but I'm not really ok with the Colossus/Rogue "lonely" no feelings thing. It takes away potential drama with a love triangle.
In general, solid issue. 7/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jan 19, 2014 22:19:17 GMT -5
Can I use the same format to review your review? Haha.
The GOOD: - It's great that you feel my characters have unique voices and are interacting well. I think I'm starting to get the idea of how to balance so many main characters. - I'm glad you like the Storm plot. It'll get interesting, don't you worry.
The BAD: - I see where you're coming from about the 'best friend' situation. I could've build towards it more. I feel like it was more just Bobby blurting it out because Rogue is the only person he's connected with so far. - I can see how Jean is the weakest character. I'll try to correct that in the following issues. - As far as the Colossus/Rogue relationship goes, I see where you're coming from. But I thought it put an interesting twist on their relationship and especially Colossus's character. Normally, in comics/movies/whatever, you don't have that type of relationship. It's different from your standard love triangle foreshadowing.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jan 21, 2014 11:53:20 GMT -5
I'm still not really feeling this series. You have a lot of great ideas and there's tons of potential. This issue felt like a first draft. Like you were just outlining the story real quick but forgot to go back and flesh things out. Scenes felt rushed and devoid of emotion or depth. Dialogue was awkward at times.
The basic plot is fine. I agree the Storm story is intriguing. I just think it needed another pass or two to flesh things out, expand on the ideas, and strengthen the dialogue.
It could be great. Right now I feel it's just passable. But make no mistake, I'm not saying it's bad. Keep em coming.
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