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Post by jordan on Dec 1, 2013 15:11:55 GMT -5
A few hour late,sorry! But Chapter 1 is up! Its Punisher centric, so be ready for that!
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Post by Drake on Dec 1, 2013 20:08:36 GMT -5
I...I honestly don't know how to respond to what I just read. It was great, but at the same time it was really weird. I got it. Most of it. Not that Church scene. There's got to be more to this whole religion thing than what you're showing because parts of it don't fit with the rest of the Universe i.e. Thor, etc. Anyway, it was good. I enjoyed it other than the rushed ending. Kenyon's last bit seemed weird.
I honestly don't know how I feel about this so far. I'll give it a 7.5/10. Hopefully I'll get a better feel for the series next issue.
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Post by jordan on Dec 2, 2013 2:09:06 GMT -5
This issue was completely set-up, so there was more to the Church scene. The entire arc will revolve around religion, so that'll be a recurring theme. Look out for that, symbols and what not, because if you don't catch some of that stuff a lot won't make since. I'm trying out a new writing style, a more symbolistic writing style.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2013 11:53:14 GMT -5
I can appreciate the use of symbolism in the story, and I think you did an excellent job of setting the stage for an arc that's going to be rather large in scope. You've also written a very unique type of Punisher origin here, and that deserves kudos as well. Unfortunately I feel like the approach ultimately robbed the narrative of any substantial emotional impact at the end.
It's well written and a decent enough start, but for now I'm gonna have to give it a 7.5/10 for being just a little too much style over substance. I do look forward to reading the rest of the arc though.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Dec 21, 2013 19:20:08 GMT -5
What...what did I just read? Let me start over. I am not a fan of the start, with my reasons mainly being what Drake said about it. Not to mention that it is a little blasphemous, but I can get over that and already have. But the thing that ruined this issue for me was the Church scene. Good to know that it will be important and hopefully better explained later on. But for now, that is a complete mind screw. It comes out of nowhere, barely fits into the rest of the story, doesn't really read as though it was set in modern time. It felt as though it was during Rome for some reason. Actually, it didn't felt like it fit in anywhere. I only mentioned Rome because the scene mentioned.
Basically, you can fit that scene anywhere and it would make as much sense. And no, you promising to explain it later won't have me go easy on this issue. The fact of the matter is, this scene makes so little sense that I wouldn't even want to read the rest of the series if it didn't promise Daredevil in it.
That and I approve of the characterization of Castle and his new origin. Those two scenes are the only good ones. Also, is it me or is this just plain short? I mean, 2300+ words is pretty good but it still seems short.
So, all in all 6.5/10. For a shaky start that it brings into question about guys like Thor and Hercules, the absolute confusing church scene, feeling very short, and that the scenes in the jungle being the only scenes that I can say are definitely good. Sorry for sounding so harsh, but I really don't like that scene.
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 28, 2013 20:23:42 GMT -5
Yeah I have no idea what to think about what I just read. I went in expecting a dark, gritty action story with down to Earth heroes Daredevil and Punisher and got...the fuck?
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Post by jordan on Dec 31, 2013 17:38:29 GMT -5
Alright guys, here's the second installment of Daredevil/Punisher: A World Without Fear! I hope you guys enjoy it! It is more down to Earth than #1, and sheds a lot of light on the Church scene!
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2013 17:58:06 GMT -5
First off, I didn't finish the issue because I have a big complaint. Hobgoblin's dead. The guy got blown up by his own bombs. He was disintegrated. Some of your issue needs to be re-written. I'll check the rest out, but you have to change stuff.
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2013 18:11:31 GMT -5
I guess I'll need to re-read it later on, but I enjoyed this issue more than the first. You cut down on some symbolism and your work is much easier to read and understand because of it. To be honest, what you explained in the Church scene isn't exactly info I hadn't picked up on. The confusing things were the angels (was it real?) and that ending God bit, mostly because, well, do we really want to establish God, THE GOD, in our Universe. Hinting at it is one thing, but practically straight out saying it is another. Then again, maybe it isn't God. Whatever. We'll figure it out soon, I guess.
I like your characterization of Daredevil more than Punisher, but he is a little too grim and angry for me. Hopefully you'll take some of his Mark Waid characterization and allow him to have a little fun and crack a few jokes
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Post by jordan on Dec 31, 2013 18:13:36 GMT -5
He will. As Daredevil, he won't crack too many, but as Matt Murdock he will. Anyway, I edited the Hobgoblin out. Sorry about that tidbit. And as for God, I'm not really establishing anything. You'll see later on.
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2013 18:17:14 GMT -5
Actually, that little bit at the end was kind of funny. But good, I'm glad we'll have some humor.
Just reread it. Again, I liked it more than issue 1. I like it a lot in fact. Anything else I needed to say has been said.
7.8/10. It's kind of random, but it wasn't quite an 8 and it was better than your last issue, which is rated (oddly) as a 7.5.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Dec 31, 2013 22:37:33 GMT -5
I don't like the change to Daredevil's origin. No, I am not someone who simply does not like change. I have mentioned in my last review that I liked the changes to Punisher's origin and I definitely liked the changes Drake made to Spider-Man (Though I haven't read it since issue 2 and Drake has mentioned being ashamed of 3-5). Just to clarify, it is the explanation for Daredevil's powers. Don't want to spoil anything, but that is just a badly handled hand wave. In nicer terms, there should have been a little more focus on it, and I don't get why Matt thought about patenting it when it was his friend who should be thinking of it. I have another question, but I am not sure if it will make it too obvious.
Drake is also right that the church scene is not exactly explained. Especially that damned angel. That is the main reason I claimed it was a mind screw, because when that creature showed up is when things stopped making sense for that entire scene.
Also, Matt is very naive (and partially suicidal) for taking on a monster when he obviously is not ready. You also have some noticeable spelling and grammar errors (namely you forgot a word here and there) and have not corrected the Hobgoblin bit.
But those are the negative parts. Matt's characterization is good and more fleshed out than Frank's. I also liked the origin of his blindness, so it is his powers I have issue with. I would also wonder why a certain guest star is not with a team, but he is known for going solo every and now. So hopefully we will have decent team up next issue. There is also lots of opportunity for good stories and character development with the inclusion of the detective. He isn't gonna die to give Matt more reason to fight the Hand, right?
6.3/10 (Using IGN scale) Positive: Matt's characterization, decent change to origin of his blindness, potential story and character development with inclusion of an OC detective Negative: Not much explanation of church scene, not big fan of explanation for Matt's powers, minor continuity/spelling/grammars No Factor but Noted: Got boring at end, but that might because I was playing video games before reading causing me be tired
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Post by Drake on Dec 31, 2013 22:43:37 GMT -5
He did fix the Hobgoblin bit...
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Post by All Star Silentking on Dec 31, 2013 22:48:14 GMT -5
He did? *checks* Okay, my bad. The way it was worded and the fact it wasn't edited (Note: Jordan apparently deleted and reupload the issue instead of just editing) made me think he didn't. 6.4/10 then because there are still spelling and grammar mistakes. If you want, I can look it over and then post the ones I had found.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jan 1, 2014 0:23:19 GMT -5
Better than #1, but still kinda eh. I don't like the big change to DD at all. SK went over most of it, but the hand wave of his powers("I know a guy. No biggie") to the "I'm suddenly blinded but I know Judo so....superhero?" turn was just painful.
The writing itself is fine. I just don't like where this is going and it doesn't help that I'm already against the idea of this series to begin with.
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Post by Person on Feb 7, 2014 22:13:40 GMT -5
So, I'm sure this has been discussed before, but why does this title exist? I thought the whole point of this site was for people to come in and write their own takes on the characters. If that's the case then how is it fair for someone who already has a title to be laying down groundwork for other characters? Doesn't that basically do nothing but limit what any potential new writers can do?
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Post by Drake on Feb 8, 2014 16:36:26 GMT -5
So, I'm sure this has been discussed before, but why does this title exist? I thought the whole point of this site was for people to come in and write their own takes on the characters. If that's the case then how is it fair for someone who already has a title to be laying down groundwork for other characters? Doesn't that basically do nothing but limit what any potential new writers can do? This isn't really the place to do this, but I'll explain our reasoning. First off, you're right. The current Daredevil/Punisher establishing characters with no plans of spinning them off...that's wrong of us. It isn't progressive, but at the time we were coming up with this title, it seemed like it was. Six (maybe less) months ago the site was nearly dead. Trance and I were the only ones online consistently. And then Jordan comes back, and SK follows, although not as a writer (yet). We figured that after numerous (3 or 4 depending on how you consider it) attempts at getting writers to join the site, we should give up and move on to telling the best stories we could. That meant freedom and continuity. So we created All Star Presents as a title for us three and any new writers that wanted to chip in to create our universe. And then the Con happened. The Winter FanCon set the board on fire. We broke records. Writers joined the site. Suddenly, everything was going right. And there we were, doing everything that could hurt the site, with a full scale revival on our hands. The site wasn't dead. It could succeed beyond the three of us. The site continued to grow. We've had more readers and writers come on. Now, hope has been renewed and we realize that All Star Marvel Presents needs a drastic transformation. The realization fully hit me when aman joined the site and asked about Hulk. Naturally, we've had a bit of a continuity screw with that. There isn't a lot, but what is there could be holding writers back, and I realized that I didn't want to make that worse so I dropped my Presents arc. But Jordan, well, he's more than halfway through his. Anyway, we've changed the rules for Presents. Check them out in the admin briefs. They'll be added to the official rules soon. Now, Presents isn't here to just build continuity, but invite new writers in. Its purpose has changed for the better. As for Daredevil and Punisher? I hope Jordan agrees with me that we (really just he) would be willing to have his arc be an Elseworlds arc if a writer came to us really desiring to write either Daredevil and Punisher, but to have it their way. So, there's your response. Anything else to say, Jordan? Any questions from you, er, Person, or any other guests? I'll be happy to answer them...preferably in the "Complaints" thread. Yes, we do in fact have one of those. I hope I'm not sounding condescending. I'm really just trying to explain myself and, well, point you guys to where you should post complaints. Thanks!
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Post by Drake on Feb 8, 2014 16:40:41 GMT -5
So, I haven't been able to find the Complaints thread. I know we had one, but it appears to be hidden deep within the site, haha! I'll put up a new one now.
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Post by Drake on Feb 8, 2014 16:41:14 GMT -5
And of course I find it right when I type this out. It's there, folks.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Feb 8, 2014 16:53:22 GMT -5
I prefer the term What If? instead of Elseworlds. To me Elseworlds is DC. What If?s are Marvel.
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Post by jordan on Feb 17, 2014 16:55:10 GMT -5
Much, much different than my past two issues, nonetheless, I'm really proud of it, and I hope you guys are too.
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Post by Drake on Feb 17, 2014 18:02:14 GMT -5
It was very different. You really toned down the symbolism and it helped the story a lot.
There's still plenty of questions concerning the Hand and the Darkness and whatnot, and that's pushing the story further. Your characterization is solid. I'm intrigued by the secrets of the Light and the Dark. The ending was a nice cliff hanger too.
The critiques...Elektra's blonde? Really? There just seems to be no reason at all to change her ethnicity. Also, while the mystery is propelling the story forward, it's a double-edged sword. I'm still confused on what's what and who's who. Would you mind summarizing what you've revealed so far about the Hand, Darkness, etc.?
8/10. This is my favorite issue yet.
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Post by jordan on Feb 18, 2014 1:27:18 GMT -5
1) I didn't change her ethnicity, she's just blonde with blue eyes. I actually have an asian friend that's blonde with blue eyes.
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Post by Person on Feb 18, 2014 3:00:19 GMT -5
Elektra isn't Asian anyway (she's Greek), so I don't see the harm in changing her hair or eye color.
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Post by jordan on Mar 8, 2014 4:27:42 GMT -5
So my computer had broke, so I couldn't post this when my extended deadline said I would but BOOM! Daredevil/Punisher draws to a close! Thoughts?
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Post by Drake on Mar 9, 2014 11:27:36 GMT -5
I really enjoyed this issue. Your characterization of DD is my favorite yet. His uncertainty really shows, and he comes across as very human. I'm certainly intrigued by your different takes on these characters. It will allow you to take them in very different directions. The action was well done and the pace was rightfully quick.
I'm of the opinion you should have shown the DD becoming immortal scene. It's very important to the story and just telling it in a brief "Oh yeah, I'm immortal now" bit feels underwhelming. There were more grammar errors this issue than I expect from you. Also, you still haven't answered our question: what the hell was up with that church scene? That angel and the pastor guy? I hope you give us a more in depth response in the coming issues of Knights.
8/10
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Post by jordan on Mar 9, 2014 14:32:58 GMT -5
Obviously, my Knights series will heavily fall onto this short arc and expand in large of what the Light and Darkness are, who is the Hand? Who is the Leader that Elektra spoke of? (No, the Leader is not the Hulk villain Leader, before anyone things it is). There are a lot of things I chose not to wrap up when I'd decided to spin Knights out of Presents, and I think that really shows through in the issue.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Mar 9, 2014 21:56:58 GMT -5
The whole series have just been meh. Not saying it is bad, but you have wrote better. (Especially in the grammar/spelling department) I will be looking forward to Marvel Knights and Black Panther being in it at least. 6.8/10 for the whole arc overall.
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