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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 16, 2014 17:24:44 GMT -5
#1 is up!
Took a while. Its a longer issue for me, but there's a lot to setup. As we go we'll be exploring all the characters introduced here, and more. Let me know what you think!
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Post by Drake on Mar 16, 2014 19:42:40 GMT -5
This was definitely a very well written issue. Despite its length, I never got bored or tired and I enjoyed every second of it. I can't honestly pick out any specific mistakes or missteps.
I'm a little easy to please, so you'll have to wait for a harsher reader to give you better criticism. I'm also happy to discover what I "inspired" in you wasn't too awful.
9/10
Looking forward to more
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 16, 2014 21:50:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the nice review.
I've added secret files up. They do contain spoilers for the 1st issue.
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Post by thejellyfish on Mar 17, 2014 0:55:54 GMT -5
I had high hopes for this title and I am glad I was not disappointed. So much is revealed in such a short amount of time that I can't help but be amazed.
You bring an air of originality to some of your characters, which is welcome. Arthur and Monet's changes are inspired choices on your part and I eagerly await developments to occur with Monet and Cassius. Some characters didn't get as much of a chance to shine as others (Tessa and Harry, in particular) so I hope their roles increase soon.
The Club itself seems like the kinda thing James Keller (current CEO of Keller Dynamics) would be invited to, same as his father before him. Both men, however, lack the information and necessary contacts to really know what the Hellfire Club is and what it's goals are. Robert Kelly is going to lose it when he sees KD has cooked up in New Warriors. You can probably guess what it is from the subtitle, but I suspect Kelly will only get angrier (at superheroes and, in particular, the New Warriors) as time goes on.
All in all, I give it a 9.5/10, due to some small spelling mistakes. Other than that, it's a perfect first issue.
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Post by thetrueelec on Mar 18, 2014 0:30:57 GMT -5
Well this was a great first issue, I really can't complain about any of it because it did everything a first issue needed to do, needless to say I will be keeping up with this series.
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Post by Stardrifter on Mar 18, 2014 9:43:35 GMT -5
Thank you for the positive reviews. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it, since this isn't going to be your typical super hero story. I do enjoy doing different takes on characters. I figured pop star is a different yet believable turn for Monet. And I plan to have some fun with Arcade.
Who do you mean by Cassius, jelly? I'm confused.
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Post by thejellyfish on Mar 18, 2014 13:54:30 GMT -5
I typed that and then realized he was wallpaper. But yeah, I wanted to see some touching father-daughter moments or something.
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C_Miller
Junior Member
All-Star Marvel's Honorary Canadian
Posts: 102
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Post by C_Miller on Apr 20, 2014 12:25:53 GMT -5
To quote Christopher Eccleston, Fantastic, absolutely fantastic.
I have been wanting to write a villain team for a while now, but I can never find proper framing. While television today is showing that you can write compelling stories about darker, less savory characters such as Walter White, Don Draper, Any number of Game of Thrones characters, I haven't figured out quite how to do it well yet.
That said, I think you to a great job. The piece is really anchored by Betsy who really is your clear example of a protagonist. Someone who acts as the audience's link between the real world and the crazy world being established. You develop her well, but not so well that there's not room to reveal more as time goes on. That's an issue that a lot of people have, they show all of their cards in the first story and then the character is static through the rest. Very well done on that regard.
You also managed to create a pretty solid mystery out of The Inner Circle. Perhaps mystery isn't the best word, but it's clear we don't know how deep it goes. It also plays well into Betsy as the protagonist. We are learning about the Hellfire Club as she is, which a really solid device.
One thing I didn't like as much was the Sabretooth stuff. I definitely see why you did it and I admit it was well written, but I found myself wanting to get back to the Betsy/Shaw stuff, but that probably plays far more into my personal preference as a reader than anything else.
Well done and keep it up.
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