|
Post by Drake on Jul 5, 2013 17:13:56 GMT -5
Yep. I thought the same thing when I first saw her name. She'll usually be called May though, so it shouldn't be too distracting.
|
|
|
Post by All Star Silentking on Jul 5, 2013 18:48:37 GMT -5
I liked the name...
|
|
|
Post by hitmonkey on Jul 17, 2013 5:03:10 GMT -5
So apparently I never got around to reviewing this. I really like it. the zero issue is just amazing, the first issue is a great intro and while the second issue seemed to go out of it's way to show off all of Miles' powers it was still a good chapter. The third issue was hampered by the outcome having been spoiled, though I think the outcome was obvious so it wouldn't have matter too much, but besides losing some dramatic tension it was still a really well written issue.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Jul 25, 2013 8:42:43 GMT -5
Spidey four is up! It's a short issue. It also hasn't been proofread. This is all because I threw out my back working out yesterday and couldn't find the energy to be very descriptive or to work exceptionally hard. It should be entertaining, however.
|
|
|
Post by ReadingTrance on Jul 25, 2013 17:33:16 GMT -5
Meh. Could easily tell it wasn't proof read. And it seemed somewhat generic. Not your best work, but it wasn't awful. 6.5/10
Also, sorry about your back. That sucks.
|
|
ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
|
Post by ls34 on Jul 25, 2013 19:01:13 GMT -5
If you aren't willing to proof read it, why post it?
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Jul 26, 2013 13:19:09 GMT -5
Because I have to have an issue up by the end of the month.
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Jul 27, 2013 21:23:18 GMT -5
Six days isn't enough time to proofread?
Anyway it was all right. I felt Miles reaction to Peter was a little over the top. His going on about Spider-Man as a symbol seemed silly when Peter was the only man to be Spider-Man. Spider-Man is what Peter made it. I understand, heated moment and a teenager and such, but the way it was written it seemed Miles was supposed to be right.
Otherwise it was okay. Gankes joke was a bit groan inducing. Especially explaining the joke. I did enjoy Miles first attempt at heroing. Keep em coming.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Jul 28, 2013 12:46:07 GMT -5
I have to have half a Flash issue and a whole Avengers issue up by the end. Frankly, they aren't going to be up because I have stuff to do Monday-Wednesday, so there's that, but at the time that's what was going through my head.
EDIT: I just realized I didn't really respond to your review.
Yes, the argument was written in such a way that Miles seemed to be right, and that's because the story is from Miles' POV. Additionally, Miles is making the point that Spider-Man is more than just Peter. It's a symbol to the people he saved. The people of NYC see Spidey in the same way the people of Gotham saw Batman at the end of DKR. So he means much more than just Peter, or just a hero. He's a symbol of hope to them. That's what Miles was trying to get across, but yes, you're right, Spidey is what Pete made it to be. It just so happens the people of NY see it as more than that.
The Ganke jokes were meant to be bad, but I'd hoped it was so bad it was good. Guess not. Honestly, I didn't have the energy for this chapter. I really, really need a writer.
|
|
ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
|
Post by ls34 on Aug 1, 2013 16:10:36 GMT -5
I've just started reading this, and I'm confused on a few things:
1) Why start with killing off your main character? Like, is there something before this? Because you mention all these villains off hand as though we know them, but it's the first issue.
2) Why was it a 0 issue? A 0 issue is adding background to a characters origin, I'm not sure why your first issue (Which would need to be read to understand the series) is a 0 issue. It just seems like a strange choice.
The first issue was well written, but it all just seems...why? I have no issue with a character not starting with an origin story, but the issue didn't introduce us to Spider-Man, it just killed him.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Aug 1, 2013 16:33:27 GMT -5
Read on. That's all I have to say. It's explained some in the issues since. Well, the '0 issue' part isn't. That was just a personal choice. It wasn't a #1 or a #0.1, I think, so I made it zero. I do realize it was incorrectly used, but I went with it anyway.
|
|
ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
|
Post by ls34 on Aug 1, 2013 21:26:26 GMT -5
It was a 1 imo, because it was the first issue. The 0 just served to make the numbering confusing. Maybe it's just me, because almost everybody else uses 0 issues but there we are.
Anyway:
1 - Aside from what's already been said, it felt very going through the motions. I like the idea of Peter being an older Spider-Man, but he just seemed quite generic. He doesn't seem believable as this big CEO when the most notable thing he's done so far is leave Miles unattended near the spiders. I recognise some of the intern names but as I'm not an avid Spider-man reader, it didn't really mean anything to me. Tommy is very...idk. He just seems to be wearing a chalkboard saying "I'm gonna be a villain muhahahahaha" or something. Other than that it all seems very cut and paste in terms of setting, and the pace really slowed down across the issues. Also, why are we now back in time with Peter alive? You could've done him dying later and have it be a legitimate shock, but now it's all spelt out for us that I can't really begin to care about what's happening. I don't mean to be overly negative, because it's not a bad issue, but there's just not much to really grab my attention.
|
|
ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
|
Post by ls34 on Aug 1, 2013 22:00:19 GMT -5
Just double checked and noticed the years are different in the two issues. That explains a few things, I guess.
2 - As with last issue, it feels like the people around Miles are doing dumb stuff just so he can become Spider-Man. First Peter leaving him alone, then his teacher letting him go home after being bitten. It's hard to suspend my belief or start to feel invested when at this point it feels like Miles is just destined to become Spider-Man no matter what. The bit with his hand stuck to the door started off very good, but then he jumped over the truck and I'm lost. How did he jump over a truck? truck's are about ten feet~ in height, so did Miles sort of get unattached and then keep running? Even if it was just a car, it doesn't make sense that his teacher didn't see him. If he just got his hand stuck and ripped off the door handle it might've worked, but suddenly he's leaping over trucks. The people mugging them is a good idea but...the way they talked made them seem like complete stereotypes. I'm not saying it's bad they spoke in slang, but it just got ridiculous when every single word was pronounced incorrectly and I ended up skipping the scene. Ganke working out Miles had powers while Miles was in denial worked well and made it all move along quite smoothly. The ending cliff-hanger was interesting, but ending both scenes with "Miles had only one way to describe this" seemed cheap and lazy. I can forgive it seeming a bit run of the mill what with it being an origin, but there were quite a few good ideas poorly executed. At this point I'm honestly still not hooked.
3 - So....nothing happened? Oh. Okay, I guess. You left us on a cliffhanger then gave us nothing, really. I can't lie, that was extremely anti-climatic, and you missed a chance to do something different. Having them both be Spider-Man gives you a chance to really do something unique, but so far it just feels run of the mill to the point that it feels genuinely disappointing. I get wanting to establish Miles and such, but with such a unique set-up, I'm kind of wanting you to do more with it. I'd much rather read a title where you try to do something very unique than a title where you just go through the motions, albeit quite well. The story isn't bad at all, it's just nothing we haven't seen before. The caps in the messaging got a bit grating, but for the most part it worked well. The uncle line wasn't the best, but it definitely added more to Miles as a character. The reveal at the end was good, and I liked how Peter isn't instantly his mentor.
|
|
ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
|
Post by ls34 on Aug 1, 2013 22:15:16 GMT -5
4 - Not really liking Miles super strength punching Peter in the face immediately without even asking for an explanation. It went from "wow, being Spider-Man cost you so much" to "I HATE YOU, BE SPIDERMAN AGAIN!". It was all far too melo-dramatic. The argument was so one sided it seemed more like a telling off. I get Miles is the main character, but I don't think having him just rip into Peter like that was a good idea. It being from Miles's POV doesn't really explain the scene. Peter made a point about his daughter and Miles just tells him "Spider-Man isn’t just about saving the lives of the people you love". Come on. I get the super hero symbol stuff, but I don't like the idea of Miles demanding Peter to live up to his expectations. The best comparison I can think of is Hitman #34, where Superman has put himself up to the standard of having to save everybody, is upset about not being up to that standard, and Tommy basically tells him that he does the best he can and that's more important than living up to some ridiculously high standard he or other people have come up with. This feels like the opposite of that, with Miles telling Peter he sucks for not living up to those standards. I can't sympathise with Miles at all, and he's written in a way that portrays him as completely right. Peter got punched, told he's wrong to care about his loved ones and left on the floor begging. Everything about it just doesn't sit right, to me. I liked Miles not being that successful his first time out and the spin on the "cat in a tree thing", but I just can't begin to like him at this point. Sorry, but as somebody who came into reading this with no knowledge of him he comes off as Peter-lite until he punches Peter in the face and calls him a coward. The lack of proof reading honestly didn't show, and if you didn't mention it I don't think I'd have noticed, so there's that.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Aug 2, 2013 12:17:16 GMT -5
First off, thanks for reviewing. I love any and all criticism. Now onto the reviews themselves...
1- Some of your issues were answered later on in the story, so I'll let those be. On the issue of Tommy...well, I'm really disappointed with how I handled him. REALLY disappointed. If I could go back in time and change it I would. Actually, on that note, I'd rewrite the entire series. To be honest, I'm becoming more and more unhappy with it.
2- Yeah, the dumb stuff people are doing...I don't know. I just said it. I wish I did things differently and now I'm not the most excited about the story. It's why I want a writer. Hell, I'd completely redo the series if it wasn't stuck firmly in continuity. And with Miles jumping over the truck? I imagine it as he stays stuck but kind of flips sideways, stretching his arm as far as he possibly can. It's a stretch, no pun intended, but I went with it at the time. And the gangsters...it was a stereotype for them. I just went with what I thought was a comical (in the exaggerated reality sense, not funny) interpretation.
3- I actually wrote about 1/4 of that issue, so any characterization, grammar, etc was only partially my fault. The actual story itself is boring because...well, I'm bored with the story.
4- I'm really regretting writing that making Miles' POV seem like it's "definitely, no matter what, screw everyone else's opinion" right. I will admit that I enjoyed writing the twist on the "cat in the tree" thing.
So yeah, I'll say it. I'm bored with the story too. I REALLY want to redo it. But I can't. I think. Actually, I might. Using Avengers as a guideline it shouldn't be too hard to reboot the series. But back to the topic at hand. You're right. It's generic. Boring. My idea was original, but throughout my plotting it, it became boring. I've felt that way since issue 1, which was the last issue I enjoyed writing.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Aug 31, 2013 15:14:57 GMT -5
Spider 5 is up! The big game changer happens next issue!
|
|
|
Post by Stardrifter on Aug 31, 2013 23:06:02 GMT -5
It wasn't bad. I'm glad you addressed some of our concerns. Though I think the ending was a bit rushed. I would have liked some more time spent on the consequences from the hostage situation. It felt glanced over and swept under the rug.
The fight scene was good though. I don't know if the camoflauge thing is part of Miles I the comics or not, but I'm not a fan of it.
Looking forward to the shake up, whatever it may be. Keep em coming.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Sept 1, 2013 8:23:43 GMT -5
Yeah, the ending was rushed. I know I'd put up an extension request, but I'd felt bad doing it so I sat myself down and just wrote 1000+ words.
Miles does have camo powers in the comics. I'm going to limit my use of them, as they can be quite...well, cheap. You'll be pleased to know I've all but eliminated his "venom bite" powers, which, in the comics, are used as a deus ex machina "knock out anyone and everyone" power.
The shakeup will be considerably different than what I had planned and what's happened to Miles in the comics. It'll eliminate one form of drama Miles has to bring out another.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Sept 1, 2013 8:38:33 GMT -5
Actually, I just realized I forgot to mention something else. The consequences of the bank scene--specifically Tommy discovering Miles as Spidey--will be dealt with over the next arc. Sorry about that. For some reason I thought I'd mentioned that.
|
|
|
Post by ReadingTrance on Sept 2, 2013 16:57:42 GMT -5
I liked it. I feel like the bank scene was really rushed towards the end and could've been written a bit better.
Overall it seemed a bit basic, but I think that's because you're setting up the next issue.
7/10
|
|
|
Post by jordan on Sept 2, 2013 23:15:55 GMT -5
I enjoyed the issue as I have all your Spider-man issues. I look forward to everything you're going to do post-shake up. Anyway, just make sure not to rush your scenes too much (or too little, for that fact) as pacing is a major part of a medium like this one.
7.7/10
|
|
|
Post by ReadingTrance on Oct 14, 2013 17:28:37 GMT -5
You haven't posted for issue #6 yet, so I'll kick it off.
I liked it a lot. The beginning fight was great, probably my favorite part of this issue. Definitely liked Spider-Man's lines.
The middle was supposed to be a tragic story. Personally, it dragged a bit for me. But that may be just because it's me. It was necessary for the story.
Also, just a quick note, I still don't like invisibility, haha. I feel it's cheating. Again, may just be me.
I liked the end a lot. I liked Peter helping out and Miles having to make a choice. The very end was a big surprise that I honestly didn't see coming in this issue. It'll be very interesting to see what happens next.
Solid. 8.5/10
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Oct 14, 2013 17:55:30 GMT -5
The camouflage is one of Miles' powers in the comics, and helps differentiate him from Pete. Otherwise, I agree, it's a bit deus ex machina. At least I'm not using Miles' ultimate deus ex machina cheap ass power: the venom blast. If you've read the Ultimate Spider-Man comics, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, well, it's essentially a touch that paralyzes/knocks out his opponents.
Even for me the end dragged on. It was too much of the same. Might have worked better if it was a movie, not a prose chapter.
I'm glad you didn't see it coming. It's different from what happens in the comics, and I can promise you there's more of that to come. Just when you think I'm following the comics or giving away the answer, BOOM! Another plot twist. This arc is full of them. I both hate and love to say it, but I'm pulling a Scott Snyder. Super long arc with ridiculous plot twists to keep you interested. And I mean SUPER long. At least a year's worth of story.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Nov 22, 2013 22:32:58 GMT -5
Issue 7 is up! It's short! I hope you like it! This is the the second to last "prologue" issue of Darkest Nights, so it is a little slow. However, the ending should make it all worth while. And the character development. Good news for you action fans, after next issue we go full throttle! Including a special battle/crossover I'm sure you've all been clamoring for...
Lastly, please REVIEW!
|
|
|
Post by ReadingTrance on Nov 28, 2013 20:47:50 GMT -5
It was okay. Nothing over exciting. It was written well.
The twist at the end had already been hinted at previously, so it didn't really work as a great cliffhanger. I liked the whole blood controversy with Miles being a 'mutant' and what not.
We'll go with a...7 outta 10.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Nov 28, 2013 23:50:02 GMT -5
Fair enough. I didn't expect much for this issue. It's more of a story development issue. Next has heavy character development. The one after is almost entirely action. I'm glad you thought it was well written though! I'd hoped that would keep it from being a bore.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Dec 7, 2013 20:44:59 GMT -5
Issue 8 is up! After this, we hit the ground running! Full on action each issue...I hope. Anyway, check it out! Review it!
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Dec 8, 2013 11:01:11 GMT -5
And my little gift is up! Spider-Man #9! Spider vs Spider!
|
|
|
Post by ReadingTrance on Dec 9, 2013 19:27:17 GMT -5
I've read #8. Again, an issue to develop plot and character.
I'm not a huge fan of Aaron's random return (not yet at least), so the beginning was eh for me. I liked the dialogue between Mayday and Miles, as well as between Miles and Peter.
I liked the ending. I thought it was strong. Especially the little Avenger joke.
I'd say this was slightly better than the last issue, but not by much. I'll get around to #9 soon.
I usually only rate by 0.5 increments, but I'll give this a 7.2/10 since I only found it slightly better than the last.
|
|
|
Post by Drake on Dec 9, 2013 21:32:32 GMT -5
I've read #8. Again, an issue to develop plot and character. I'm not a huge fan of Aaron's random return (not yet at least), so the beginning was eh for me. I liked the dialogue between Mayday and Miles, as well as between Miles and Peter. I liked the ending. I thought it was strong. Especially the little Avenger joke. I'd say this was slightly better than the last issue, but not by much. I'll get around to #9 soon. I usually only rate by 0.5 increments, but I'll give this a 7.2/10 since I only found it slightly better than the last. Fair enough. Aaron's return will begin to really pay off once the second half of Darkest Nights begins. I'm glad you like Miles interaction with others. I'm really working on giving Miles a different voice and character than Pete. Obviously he's still funny and happy, but...well, part 4 really begins to show how he's different than Peter, and that will be expounded on later in the arc.
|
|