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Post by ReadingTrance on Jun 8, 2013 13:58:06 GMT -5
I've posted issue #1. Reviews? Questions?
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ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
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Post by ls34 on Jun 8, 2013 19:42:52 GMT -5
I liked it. My only complaint is the massive info dump at the start. The first scene is almost all just giving us Cap's backstory in a textbook sort of way, which wasn't as interesting to read as the rest of the issue. Overall a good issue despite that.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jun 8, 2013 21:18:30 GMT -5
I agree ls34. The beginning wasn't necessary but the rest was great. 8.5/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jun 8, 2013 22:09:27 GMT -5
That's very interesting to hear, as I've had others tell me that they enjoyed the very beginning more than the latter bits.
Guess you can't please everyone, haha. Glad you guys enjoyed it at least.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 9, 2013 9:29:58 GMT -5
The beginning reads like a wiki summarizing a story. Which is only made worse because you then go back to tell the story you just summarized. It's really out of place.
As for the rest of the story, there's not much to it. Just a pretty standard rehash of Caps origin. You could do with more descriptions and flavor to describe the setting and characters more.
It wasn't a bad start, despite the opening, just nothing new or interesting. Wolverine's involvement was the only interesting bit and you haven't expanded on it yet.
Don't mean to be too negative. As I said, it wasn't bad. It's just that you played it very safe, retelling the same origin that's been told. Throw in some of your own ideas and spice things up a bit. Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Jun 21, 2013 13:17:23 GMT -5
I liked it, but I have to agree with Star. It's not very original. I think it has the potential to be, however, and look forward to more. 8/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jul 14, 2013 19:07:20 GMT -5
Issue #2 has been released. The content might not be as exciting as the first issue, but I can tell you that the following issue will be more enjoyable. This was just a bridge that had to be created to get from issue #1 to issue #3.
Anyways, hope you enjoy.
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Post by Drake on Jul 15, 2013 17:58:38 GMT -5
It was actually surprisingly enjoyable considering the lack of anything really happening. Peggy's been introduced, which is great! I have to say my favorite moment (actually my favorite moment in Cap so far) was the very subtle nod to yourself and your writing. This moment would be the soldier who was reading Dracula near the end. It's just a funny, ironic moment that I'm sure was intended. And I have to say, it's little quirks and jokes like that make me enjoy your writing the most. 8.8/10
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Post by jordan on Jul 16, 2013 14:08:10 GMT -5
I loved it. I liked the beginning of the first issue and I like how your second issue went. I like the involvement of Wolverine a lot as well. I do have to say though, it isn't terribly original, but I'll see where it goes. Overall, I like WWII Captain America, but also want to know what's going on modern day outside of the Avengers. 8.5/10 total.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jul 16, 2013 14:18:33 GMT -5
Drake, thanks. Glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad you noticed the Dracula bit, haha.
Jordan, unfortunately this is only going to focus on the WWII era. The story isn't that original yet, I agree, but it will be.
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Post by jordan on Jul 16, 2013 14:41:23 GMT -5
Well then to wow me it's going to have to be over-the-top original. Luckily, I have faith that you can do it good luck!
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jul 16, 2013 15:00:52 GMT -5
Oh, you wait. There will be unicorns and werewolves before you know it.
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Post by jordan on Jul 16, 2013 16:22:24 GMT -5
Cap riding a unicorn instead of a motorcycle? That's hardcore.
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ls34
New Member
Posts: 41
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Post by ls34 on Jul 16, 2013 18:09:55 GMT -5
Oh, you wait. There will be unicorns and werewolves before you know it. Will this effect my plans to have Wolverine's origin be that he's half unicorn? Anyway, I honestly found this issue to be a bit boring. The first scene especially could've been completely removed and the story would've not been effected, and in general everything seemed to drag.
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Post by hitmonkey on Jul 17, 2013 3:55:56 GMT -5
I really liked the opening scene of the first issue, the rest wasn't bad but it wasn't very original and short so I didn't get really drawn in to the story. It wasn't bad but it would have been better if I hadn't seen this before.
As for issue 2 it was a definite improvement over issue 1 but that may have just been because the scenes seemed new.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jul 17, 2013 8:01:12 GMT -5
Ls, I'm sorry you found it boring. I know it wasn't very exciting or actiony, but it was meant to build the relationship between Bucky and Steve and also introduce Peggy. Then it's supposed to set up issue three, where some interesting things take place.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 17, 2013 15:15:29 GMT -5
I agree it was pretty boring. Not that it needed to be action packed, but what was there could have been spiced up. The dialogue was pretty wooden and could have used some 40s charm.
Steve is incredibly dull. I realize this is all to show he's the bestest most American boy evar, but some conflict would have been nice. Maybe instead of falling for Peggy right away he felt threatened as she's up for the same opportunity. Maybe he struggles a bit with his Boy Scout nature and internally debates his answers. Maybe he screws up, fear of losing this chance causing him to give them answer he thinks they want rather than being honest. Something to make Steve more than a piece of cardboard with a Made in America sticker on it.
In the end it wasn't bad. Just nothing special. I hope things pick up next issue. Keep em coming.
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Post by jordan on Jul 17, 2013 15:24:55 GMT -5
I agree with Star on his point about Steve's American-ness. Where I'm all up for the super boy-scouts, I do like personality conflict and character flaws and it is something Steve could really benefit from.
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Post by ReadingTrance on Sept 13, 2013 20:34:44 GMT -5
Issue #3 is up! Read and review!
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Post by jordan on Sept 14, 2013 19:42:35 GMT -5
I enjoyed it. I didn't catch any glaring grammatical errors and the story was pretty solid. That said, I think it was the funnest addition yet and I look forward to more! Keep up the good work, I don't know what we'd do without you! 8.3/10
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Post by Drake on Sept 15, 2013 20:10:57 GMT -5
I feel almost exactly like Jordan. It's the best yet, although there were a few huge errors and some awkward wording. (SPOILER ALERT) Erskine's death was treated too simply and shortly for my tastes. He was so important and kind to Steve that you'd think he would react more. Other than that, it was awesome! I didn't see the ending coming at all, and the humor accented the seriousness well. 8.5/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Sept 15, 2013 20:42:48 GMT -5
I apologize for the errors. I have nothing more than excuses of tiredness and a time crunch.
As for the ending, I can see where you're coming from. However, Steve is really out of it at the time of Erskine's death, so it was hard for him to really understand what was happening.
It will hopefully be shown to affect him more in coming issues.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Oct 2, 2013 2:00:07 GMT -5
Yeah, it was pretty good issue with an interesting twist ending. Although I got a bit confused near the end, but that was due to me expecting you to follow the origin to the letter. So no deductions there. 8/10
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Post by Stardrifter on Oct 8, 2013 18:46:05 GMT -5
It wasn't bad. I echo the critique of Erksines death being glossed over. Sure Steve was out of it at the time, so how about a scene after showing him coming to terms with it? Maybe a moment alone with him talking over the body? Something.
The ending kind of came out of left field. Not that it's bad, but it felt so out of place of such a by the book origin retelling. But I'm looking forward to more. I agree this was the best of the issues so far. Keep em coming.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Oct 8, 2013 23:50:54 GMT -5
Little bit of a warning to those who have not heard or read. Reading Trance will be taking a two issue break from Cap so I can do a guest arc on it. This was agreed on way back when Issue #1 was posted. So, expect Steve Rogers to take on the All-Star version of Man-Thing later this month!
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Post by jordan on Jan 14, 2014 15:52:33 GMT -5
The looooonnnnnnngggggggg awaited Captain America #4, War Games Part 1, has finally been released. Expect War Games part 2 soon.
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Post by Drake on Jan 15, 2014 10:03:58 GMT -5
I'm not sure how I feel about this issue. While the plot's pretty good, some of the characterization felt off. I like to see a naive, joke-cracking Cap, but I feel like you went too far with it. Also, some of the beginning dialogue felt unnatural.
The opening storm description felt forced. The symbolism really escalated quickly (to quote Anchorman). I think you should tone it down in all of your writing. While it was neat at first, it's quickly becoming annoying because it's such a pain to read through and understand.
6/10
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Post by ReadingTrance on Jan 15, 2014 10:13:59 GMT -5
I agree with Drake. It is quite annoying to read through all of the symbolism.
However, I do really like what you did with some of the characters. I think you did a very good job with their personalities, especially with picking up where I left off. Some of the dialogue isn't great, but it wasn't bad.
I think you did a good job continuing an already started series and I look forward to the next issue.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jan 15, 2014 12:24:31 GMT -5
I agree with Drake, but I liked this issue far more than your Present stories, so I am gonna give it a 6.9/10. Reason I am not going into depth is because, again, Drake hit the bullseye for how I felt about this issue.
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Post by jordan on Jan 15, 2014 19:59:11 GMT -5
I might be bias on this, but I don't think I got the characterization wrong. I tried really hard to keep going with what Trance had already started, and he said he liked it and thought the characterization was in line, so I have to say I disagree with you on that account.
As for the symbolism...it's just my style, my edge as a writer. You're good at the blockbuster blowouts, I at least try to be good with using the symbolism and stuff. I structure my stories around the symbolism and concepts and so I can't really tone down on the symbolism too much. But I also didn't think there was much symbolism in there at all, to be honest. Just the beginning.
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