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Post by Drake on Jun 3, 2014 20:44:29 GMT -5
Issue 1 is up!
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Post by thetrueelec on Jun 3, 2014 23:28:39 GMT -5
This was good, I quite like Peter. The only nitpick I can come up with it the use of Booyah stands out among all of the alien slang, it's not a problem just something that felt weird.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Jun 4, 2014 0:28:05 GMT -5
Characters: 7.5 (Peter and Mil are great characters, but the others were one note or aren't all that developed yet.) Story/Writing: 7.5 (A very interesting first chapter and a good introduction to Peter Quill.) Ending: 8.0 (A good ending is one that gets excited for the next chapter or wrap things up nicely. Better both, but sometimes you have to do one or the other. In any case, you did well in getting me excited for next issue.) Entertainment: 7.5 (I very enjoyed this issue, although it wasn't until the middle that I got into it) Overall: 7.5
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Post by Drake on Jun 4, 2014 6:57:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the reviews! thetrueelec Yeah, I considered dropping the "booyah" in both of my two proofreadings, but I decided to keep it for a reason you'll find out next chapter. It'll also be explored more in the coming chapters past #2. Let's just say Intergalactic languages have more in common with Earth than you may think. @allstarsilentking I didn't really have enough time to develop the others, so you're absolutely right. They're a little weak. This was really just meant to establish their personalities and leave you with a cliffhanger for the next issue. I'm glad you eventually got into the chapter. It certainly started off slow, but you can tell it picked up. While there won't be much fighting till the end of next chapter, I think you'll find the "rest" scenes much more intense and engaging.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jun 4, 2014 16:07:33 GMT -5
Wasn't bad. I know you had to get exposition out there, but some of the dialogue was just painfully obvious exposition. Not even close to natural.
I don't know anything about this series beyond the trailers for the movie, so I'm interested where you'll be going. I'm not sure if tying in Earth already was a good or bad thing. Haven't decided yet.
Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Jun 4, 2014 16:48:28 GMT -5
Like you said, I had to give out a lot of exposition because I know people are less familiar with these characters. It was tough and I honestly wasn't very pleased with my dialogue this issue. That's why you'll notice in all the "progress" threads I mention working on the dialogue.
Earth is brought in for a reason. You'll see why.
EDIT: Actually, exposition-y dialogue is something you can expect for a while. Most people have to introduce a small population of Earth in their stories. I have to introduce whole planets, species, etc. It'll at least be through the first arc before there is little-to-no exposition...probably.
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Post by thejellyfish on Jun 5, 2014 23:37:35 GMT -5
I'm fine with the exposition. It works well in these kinds of sci-fi stories.
You really know how to build a team, you know that, right? Now, did Jack and Heather seem boring? Yes, but only because they weren't the focus and compared to what Peter was doing, their plot seemed dull in comparison. Even still, I'm excited to see what happens with them.
Also, anytime Mil spoke, I heard EDI from Mass Effect. Tricia Helfer has become the default anytime a female AI pops up in something I read.
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Post by Drake on Jun 6, 2014 7:57:54 GMT -5
Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you get the Heather and Jack being boring bit.
That's actually what I imagined when I wrote Milago, haha. It's kind of become default for me too!
Thanks for reviewing!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2014 15:59:13 GMT -5
Really enjoyed the interaction between Peter and Milago, and I'm also reading her in my head as sounding like Tricia Helfer. Very entertaining.
The final segment set up some interesting possibilities. The conversation between Jack and Heather was a little bit awkward though. Normally I'm not bothered by exposition filled dialogue, but the entire exchange about UFO's felt more like they were talking directly to the reader as opposed to one another. It's a minor gripe, however, as I understand the need to establish aspects of these characters and their back story.
Overall, I thought it was an enjoyable read and I'm looking forward to seeing how the story develops from this point on.
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Post by Drake on Jun 13, 2014 17:10:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it!
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jun 14, 2014 22:57:33 GMT -5
Like a lot of people I think, I'm going into this knowing very little about the GotG other than they've got a movie coming out and they've made a few cameos on shows like Ultimate Spider-Man.
My largest and really only complaint is that there's way too much exposition crammed in too short of a time. I understand that sometimes it's worth it in the long run to sacrifice a little bit of quality to get some of the exposition out of the way, but it feels like half the information could have been saved for a later scene or chapter.
Once Quill left the ship, things seemed to flow more smoothly. It does seem odd that an alien civilization would have this Element Gun as a holy relic and also that the alien culture would still use the whole "four element" system, or at least that's what seemed to be implied.
The entire bit of Jack Flag seemed out of place, like it could wait until next chapter. Given that I have no prior knowledge of the characters, I'm still wondering why the scene cut from across the universe to here.
Overall a good chapter with great action and a good setup for the next chapter. Has a very space cowboy feel which I'm sure is what you're going for. It's also difficult to judge a story by the first chapter, so any complaints I may have now might not apply later.
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Post by Drake on Jun 15, 2014 10:26:33 GMT -5
The "element" thing is certainly something interesting you pointed out. There's more to all that than meets the eye.
The Jack Flag scene fits better in this issue. Trust me. It allows a more streamlined transition to next issue's opening and it provides a decent cliffhanger.
I am going for a cowboy, Firefly type vibe. I'm glad you got that. It might change a little though once we get into the real cosmic territory.
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Post by adrini on Jun 29, 2014 12:16:45 GMT -5
Take what I saw with a grain of salt. I know nothing of these characters. Forgive me.
It was cute, certainly entraining. The characters were colorful, the story was brisk, I can't complain. I'm just a little lost due to lack of any prior knowledge whatsoever. I'll check to wiki and fix that. But still, good job.
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Post by jordan on Jul 8, 2014 12:07:59 GMT -5
Not a bad start. Definitely not your best work, but still a solid start. It's enough to keep me interested in the next issue, to learn more about each character etc. I definitely feel you could've done better, and I hope enxt issues better shows off your writing ability.
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Post by Drake on Jul 8, 2014 12:55:36 GMT -5
Guardians #2 is up along with a few of Spartax' Most Wanted files!
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 8, 2014 21:01:44 GMT -5
I'm not a fan of the idea of English and Intergalactic Common just happening to be the same language. It might work for some other isolated sci-fi universes, but not for something like Marvel or DC. Especially when something as simple a trope as a universal translator could be used just as easily.
So the Spartoi show up any time a race tries to go to another planet? Even a neighboring one in the same system? I know they're probably supposed to be the imperial tyrant alien race but that not only seems excessive, but illogical and impractical. I could understand if maybe the Earth ship was trying to leave the Sol system.
I guess they could have been pushed out of the system by an anomaly or something, but at this point it seems like the Spartoi are just spawn-camping the entire universe for any sign of primitive races learning space travel.
Otherwise it's a good chapter. A bit mild in terms of action and character, but good nontheless. I was expecting Rocket to leave more of a first impression than he did. My big problem is that even for a sci-fi story in a comic book universe, this is stretching my suspension of disbelief and immersion pretty thin for the reasons I mentioned above.
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Post by Drake on Jul 8, 2014 21:52:14 GMT -5
Kress stated it, but I'll just go ahead and admit it. The Kree taught humans English. They have a habit on experimenting on other races, right? They did the same *coughinhumanscough* with humans and taught them a language. If I delve into it further, you'll find out none of the languages humans speak originated on Earth. Skrulls, Spartoi, etc all had a part in forming Earth's modern day culture, belief system, and languages. Frankly, English has been used as a common language in Marvel cosmic comics for decades without universal translators. I just tried to give a reason for it.
The Spartoi are "spawn-camping" the primitive races. The Badoon really effed their stuff up. Their king's also a bit loco.
I get your complaints, but there are reasons for everything. Nothing doesn't make sense as far as Marvel lore--even the comics--goes.
Thanks for the review, by the way!
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Post by thetrueelec on Jul 8, 2014 21:52:47 GMT -5
I agree with Bob about it being weird that English and Intergalactic Common are the same. Besides that though this was an enjoyable chapter, I liked Rocket but considering he's Rocket Raccoon I felt he should have made more of an impact and besides that it was a very 'setting the stage' issue, what happened matters but only in the sense that it set up the important stuff so I never got completely pulled in to the issue.
EDIT: So I'll say that a lot of my problems with English and common being the same will go away when it's revealed the other languages were also cause by aliens.
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Post by Drake on Jul 8, 2014 21:58:03 GMT -5
Thanks for the review! Look up for a brief explanation of the language bit ^^^
I have to admit I felt I didn't really do Rocket justice this chapter. He's one of my favorite characters in comics and I dropped the ball this time. I suppose it was only an introduction, but still....
He's funnier and edgier next issue, so I hope you enjoy him more then.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 8, 2014 22:57:04 GMT -5
The Kree have been experimenting on Earthlings since primitive times?
That... that may screw my plot up later.
I'll have to think about how this will affect my story.
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Post by jordan on Jul 9, 2014 0:03:13 GMT -5
I personally don't mind that Intergalactic Common and English are the same thing. I actually prefer it to having every character have to translate or just not understand what's happening around him. Unless that is a part of your story, which it doesn't seem it is. All-in-all, it wasn't a bad issues and I think you stepped it up a little from your first issue. Looking forward to #3, a little scared about the length.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 9, 2014 9:47:01 GMT -5
While it doesn't directly affect any of my plans for Iron Man, I reeeeeally don't like the idea that aliens have influenced human culture that extensively or that you unilaterally made that decision for the entire board. That's a HUGE revelation with a major impact on our shared world.
And on top of it all, it doesn't make sense. The English language has developed over centuries, building on previous languages. If the Kree taught it to us way back when, it would have developed so differently on Earth to what's being spoken in space that t might as well be a different language. And that's only the beginning.
I appreciate what you tried to do to explain the fact that everyone can speak to each other. I just feel you should have pulled a Farscape and used translator microbes or somethig instead of altering the very foundation of Earth and human culture for the entire board.
Besides all that, not bad. I agree Rocket needed a wow moment and didn't have it yet. But otherwise it was a solid issue that moved the story alone. Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Jul 9, 2014 9:58:18 GMT -5
That's a fair point. I probably shouldn't just have made this decision. Your argument for how the languages developed is flawless and I admit that I'd thought of that but I guess I just decided slang and curse words were a big enough difference. It's stretching reality but it is what it is.
Thanks for the review!
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Post by Drake on Jul 9, 2014 16:10:55 GMT -5
Issue 3 is up! It's action-packed, so I hope you like it!
Rocket's voice is coming along. It's not quite where I want it to be, but he is much funnier this issue.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 10, 2014 11:59:47 GMT -5
That's a fair point. I probably shouldn't just have made this decision. Your argument for how the languages developed is flawless and I admit that I'd thought of that but I guess I just decided slang and curse words were a big enough difference. It's stretching reality but it is what it is. Thanks for the review! Would it really change anything if you changed that detail at this point though, other than make things easier for other writers here? It's not like it's been brought up in the actual story yet. You could still give a different translator explanation. Hell, even a Babel Fish could work right now. As for the actual review... I was worried this would have been rushed given how soon you'd posted it, but I really enjoyed this chapter. The whole breakout was action-packed and very well done. It wasn't a clean break either, with casualties and possible hostages. A good intro for Gamora and Ronin too. You definitely stepped it up with Rocket. He's not quite what I had imagined, but he's nonetheless a fun character. I was expecting Prisoner X to be Drax, so good job on subverting my expectations, but in a good way. (In hindsight I really should have been expecting Groot but whatever.) The only minor gripe I have is with Groot's dialogue: That's redundant. You don't need to name who's talking when literally everything he says reminds us who's talking.
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Post by Drake on Jul 10, 2014 12:52:38 GMT -5
Changing that would also require me rewriting portions of that chapter but I will think about it. I'll have my decision by tomorrow.
I'm glad you liked it! With Rocket I'm trying to bring out a little of all his versions so he'll certainly be different than the movie or current Bendis version. I've got to thank Miller for the Prisoner X idea but as for it being Groot, that was more a nod to his past as an alien from Planet X.
Thanks for pointing out the redundancy bit. I'll fix that in the future.
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Post by Drake on Jul 10, 2014 13:22:56 GMT -5
Updated the Most Wanted files, but don't check them out if you haven't read the latest issue!
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 10, 2014 23:45:01 GMT -5
This was definitely the best issue so far. Lots of action, all well done, and the cliffhanger has me interested. Though, I know it's not your fault, bu Ronan the Accuser? The Accuser? That's a stupid title. Granted I know nothing about him beyond that hes a bruiser in MAAT.
Keep em coming.
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Post by thetrueelec on Jul 11, 2014 6:26:28 GMT -5
I liked Rocket a lot better in this issue, much more how I view him. Kind of saw Prisoner X being Groot but I wasn't 100% sure it wasn't Drax so props for that. Really look forward to what happens with Jack, though I think part of that is because I expect this to turn him more to his guardians portrayal.
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Post by Drake on Jul 11, 2014 10:00:51 GMT -5
This was definitely the best issue so far. Lots of action, all well done, and the cliffhanger has me interested. Though, I know it's not your fault, bu Ronan the Accuser? The Accuser? That's a stupid title. Granted I know nothing about him beyond that hes a bruiser in MAAT. Keep em coming. The Accuser is his title in the comics. Glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked Rocket! Jack will certainly undergo MAJOR changes, but I don't think he'll end up where you think he will....at least in the near future. It's interesting for me writing Jack where he's totally crazy about all this cosmic stuff, and in the comics he "hated" it (I'm of the opinion he enjoyed it; that's why he stayed).
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