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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 4, 2014 7:45:40 GMT -5
And to celebrate the Fourth of July here's the first issue of Agents of SHIELD.
Hope you enjoy.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 4, 2014 9:32:47 GMT -5
I seriously just came here to give you shit about needing to post an issue for the Fourth. You beat me to it.
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Post by thetrueelec on Jul 4, 2014 9:42:15 GMT -5
I like the issue but it seems more like a zero issue than a number 1 but that's semantics. I enjoyed FitzSimmonds and Carol a lot during their scene, didn't really care for Marvel but part of that may be because I expect I'm to die shortly and so am not caring about him. The Cap scene was really just an exposition dump, and was mostly why I said this felt like a zero issue, but it was still well written.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 4, 2014 10:07:27 GMT -5
I seriously just came here to give you shit about needing to post an issue for the Fourth. You beat me to it. What did you think I was waiting for, Hannukah?
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Post by Drake on Jul 4, 2014 10:57:55 GMT -5
Elec's right. There's certainly a lot of exposition at the start of the chapter. In fact, I'd go as far to say it competes with my own. That being said, I thought it was clever the way you portrayed it, and, weirdly enough, I read through that portion of the chapter much more quickly than I did the latter half. I'm reading FitzSimmons dialogue in their voices so that's wonderful, but so far Carol and Walt are a bit boring to me. Most of the humor was spot on, but the chapter did feel a little dry with most of the humor being relegated towards making fun of FitzSimmons.
Over all, it was a well written if boring issue. 7/10.
I'm 100% positive it'll pick up from here.
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Post by Stardrifter on Jul 4, 2014 13:07:42 GMT -5
The opening was great. The exposition as media reels while he blacks out was a smart way to do it. Red Skulls speechifying was in character and interesting. All in all, a great start to the issue.
Then we hit the next scene. I don't know, I get that you're introducing characters and you did a good job giving them personality, but it was kind of boring. After such a great opening, the issue just petered out. Instead of ending with a bang and excitement, it ended with a whimper. I think it would have worked better if you cut the scientists scenes down a bit and had a stronger cliffhanger.
Still, that all said I do like how you wrote the characters and if we get more scenes like the Cap/Skull fight then I'm all for this series. Keep em coming.
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Post by thejellyfish on Jul 4, 2014 15:07:01 GMT -5
I never liked the idea (on this site) that Carol only chooses the Marvel name because her human love interest was named 'Something Marvel' (let's be honest, his first name never mattered in any of her previous incarnations on the site). It made her feel like a lesser version of the comic's Captain Marvel. Carol took the name 'Ms. Marvel' out of respect for her friend, and when it became painfully clear that he was never coming back, she took on the mantle of 'Captain Marvel'. Here, Walter has no legacy, so what's the point of her becoming Captain Marvel (or even Ms. Marvel)? The name loses it's weight.
I don't like Walter, he's just boring. Carol and FitzSimmons were good though. The Cap stuff was awesome. I never quite understood why the Cap series preboot was set in WWII, I just kinda accepted it. I'm really glad you're going right into present day with him. I didn't even realize it was exposition until I came here to review it. I look forward to the next chapter, even if this one didn't amaze me.
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Post by Drake on Jul 4, 2014 18:23:03 GMT -5
Her husband preboot was Mar-Vell and her...well, husband so it did carry weight. She was still taking up his name to honor him, only their situation was different.
In fact, I'd argue it gives Carol more weight because she took her own stand, stood by her husband, and decided to be a superhero.
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Post by jordan on Jul 8, 2014 12:13:27 GMT -5
I rather liked this issue. As not being a fan of the show, this really put my interest back into SHIELD. I like your Cap/Red Skull but definitely was not a fan of the rest of the issue (just like everyone else). Overall, looking forward to the next issue.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 8, 2014 21:17:24 GMT -5
To be completely honest, this was originally going to be just the Cap/Skull scene and be a zero issue. But it was way below the minimum word count. Not sure if that's still enforced but I figure just to be safe I'd add a present scene.
And I know the present scene wasn't everyone's favorite, but honestly, I enjoyed writing it and I'm glad I added it. It gave me the opportunity to introduce and develop a few characters early on, and do a little bit of foreshadowing for later.
I'd argue that that much exposition for Captain America was necessary for nearly any Captain America story, but I hope I at least made it a bit interesting with the style it was presented in.
Carol and Walter are the normal two there. Or rather they're the mom and dad and Fitz and Simmons are the bickering siblings in that grouping. If Walter comes across as a bit bland, that's okay as he's the most normal one there (at least by appearance, though I'm sure most readers here can guess that's not the case).
I'm not going to try and hide the fact that I'll be attempting to build up to the Ms Marvel storyline I was going to write pre-reboot, but with a lot more buildup as well as major development for other characters. Not everything will be exactly the same as before either.
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Post by thetrueelec on Jul 8, 2014 21:57:01 GMT -5
I'm just going to say I actually preferred the second scene, not that the first scene was bad but it was just going over stuff I already knew, in a neat way but still there didn't seem to be any real spin on the Captain America origin story I think we all know. The second scene did give us something new, even if it most of it was FitzSimmons arguing, which I did actually enjoy.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Jul 8, 2014 22:54:00 GMT -5
I'm just going to say I actually preferred the second scene, not that the first scene was bad but it was just going over stuff I already knew, in a neat way but still there didn't seem to be any real spin on the Captain America origin story I think we all know. The second scene did give us something new, even if it most of it was FitzSimmons arguing, which I did actually enjoy. That's fair. Cap's origin is one that basically has to be told for narrative purposes, even if there isn't much different. At least at this stage. There may very well be major differences to touch upon later, but that's later.
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Post by Drake on Aug 3, 2014 13:33:26 GMT -5
That was much better! Really, really solid issue. Coulson's rescue was a "hell yeah" moment and you successfully introduced a lot of characters without it feeling forced. Nice job. The Independence Day theme was also nice with Cap's freedom. I look forward to more.
8.5/10
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Post by thetrueelec on Aug 3, 2014 23:23:22 GMT -5
I loved it, Coulson was, well Coulson and Taskmaster and CA had great introductions.
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Post by jordan on Aug 4, 2014 1:08:22 GMT -5
I really liked this issue. Coulson was great and so was Cap. Gotta love your introduction for him. I can definitely seeing this shape up to be my favorite title on the board. Although Gotg and IM give you some stiff competition. Keep 'em coming. 8/10.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 5, 2014 13:27:07 GMT -5
I agree it was a great issue. Very cinematic in your storytelling. I'm really glad you made that Taskmaster comment, because I wouldn't know who that was otherwise. Nice little nod to Rhodey too.
Keep em coming.
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Post by thejellyfish on Aug 29, 2014 2:24:23 GMT -5
This was a very enjoyable issue. Carol shined, Coulson shined, Masters shined. The only people who didn't shine, weren't there. Cap was kinda shiny too, but he wasn't there long so he didn't reach full shine like the others.
I love what you're doing here. Ever since I read Latour and Klein's short run on Winter Soldier, I've fallen in love with these kinds of stories. I love these "government agents working to save the world" type plots, especially when it isn't like Chuck or James Bond. Granted, I love both (rewatching Chuck currently), but I like the more serious tone these stories grant themselves.
Still waiting to see how Hawkeye will be portrayed because I love how he is written currently and the series could use a bit more humor. It's not extremely serious, in fact, it's quite fun, I just want some jokes.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Sept 30, 2014 22:57:59 GMT -5
New chapter is up. If it feels a little rushed, it kind of is. I spent the majority of this month without access to any of my titles thanks to an iCloud bug. I already knew this part of the story would take multiple parts going in. I may go back and edit in a scene or two if I get the time, or I just might make all that part two. We'll see.
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Post by Drake on Oct 1, 2014 10:05:15 GMT -5
Nice issue. Nat and Frank were both well in character, and I genuinely enjoyed the humor. I loved the subtle shoutout to the Avengers movie, and the title of the chapter was fun as well.
Not many critiques, beyond there were more grammar errors than usual, but you admitted it was rushed.
8.5/10
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Post by thejellyfish on Oct 1, 2014 22:29:23 GMT -5
I thought this was a good, but short, issue. I wish it was longer but iCloud is dumb and Apple should feel terrible. Just ask all those famous people about how shit that service is.
I like the way you're building the team, it's gonna be fun seeing all these people from different backgrounds interact, which is part of what I like about the TV show Agents of SHIELD.
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Post by Drake on Oct 29, 2014 17:45:32 GMT -5
Interesting choice to focus a whole issue (if a short one) on a single character. It certainly works, however, and it's helped to add a little more personality to the mix. While I think some of the dialogue was a little flat, I have to admit Clint's my favorite character yet.
This was only the second half of an issue, but it felt a little on the short side. Still, it told a complete story and was enjoyable.
7.75/10. I look forward to more.
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Post by thetrueelec on Oct 29, 2014 22:59:37 GMT -5
So apparently I didn't review 3, so I'll review the two at once. The scene with Cap and Fury was great, explaining the status quo of the series and establishing Cap. The scenes with Black Widow, Hawkeye, and guy i don't know were great scenes that showed off their personalities and showed off why they are being put on this important team. I am excited to see where the series goes now that we've got the team together.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Nov 1, 2014 10:00:33 GMT -5
The last chapter may have seemed short but I'm honestly trying to cut back on my word counts so my chapters aren't 5k-8k behemoths. There were some other scenes I was going to add of some other Agents but I was already at about ~3000 words and there other scenes didn't have any plot details that couldn't be covered later.
Originally the first half of the Hawkeye scene would have been last chapter and this whole Agents Assemble would have been two parts before their first real mission. Now it'll be three parts, though I'll be doing something a little different and focusing on a completely different set of characters in the next issue before finishing assembling the team.
Speaking of which, the next chapter will be completely focusing on HYDRA, so if anyone wants their villains or criminals or whatever to have any strong ties, let me know and we can maybe work on a cameo/crossover if possible.
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Post by thetrueelec on Nov 1, 2014 20:40:37 GMT -5
I feel the last issue was actually exactly as long as it needed to be.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2014 20:34:51 GMT -5
I really liked this issue. I think you've masterfully captured Hawkeye's essence ("Who's a badass? Hawkeye's a badass." I laughed so hard at that part.) He's probably my favorite character of the title now. And don't worry about it being too short. I still liked it.
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Post by Stardrifter on Nov 8, 2014 19:50:11 GMT -5
Last two issues were good. Kinda short. I think they would have benefited from a B plot. A short scene in each of something else besides the gathering Agents. Either a villain preparing or some hint at what the team is going to face first. As both foreshadowing and to show some progression.
But other than that it's been good. Keep em coming.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Nov 10, 2014 12:18:29 GMT -5
This is a very good series. Everyone has already said what I think, although I will mention that none of them felt short. In fact, #1 and #2 felt a little bit on the long side with #2 being possible to be split into two parts. I haven't check the word count so it could be that it felt like that.
Anyway, it is all good so far, and can't wait for more.
8/10
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Dec 19, 2014 2:16:49 GMT -5
Next Agents of SHIELD is up. About 4000 words overall so hopefully it feels like a good length.
The chapter after this one will introduce most of the HYDRA villains, so if you'd like a character from your title to be affiliated with *the* international terrorist organization, contact me and we can organize a cameo or something.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 16:57:37 GMT -5
This issue (and title) is pretty good. I definitely like the team and who it consists of. Captain Marvel and Hawkeye are probably my favorite characters. I think the team interacts well with one another, which is important in stories like this. I'm excited to see what HYDRA's (I think it's actually stylized as just "Hydra") plans are.
This issue: 8/10
The title so far: 7/10
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Post by Drake on Dec 19, 2014 18:23:31 GMT -5
This was a cool issue. I liked all the character interactions and can't wait to see where you take the title. Cap's perfectly in the character, but his dialogue does read a little too modern to me. That's only a small quibble though. Carol's awesome, Fury's appropriately being an ass, and Hawkeye and Payne are managing to keep the humor steady. While not much happened, this was a really fun issue.
8.5/10
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