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Post by DiscipleofBob on Sept 6, 2014 20:37:03 GMT -5
First issue is up.
This title will start out in the past for a little while. The plan is to eventually jump to the present once certain things have been established.
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Post by thetrueelec on Sept 7, 2014 2:33:39 GMT -5
I hought this was a really good origin story, it wasn't much we haven't seen before but it was still updated as such for modern times and i liked that. The characters seem great as well.
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Post by Drake on Sept 7, 2014 14:09:31 GMT -5
Nice issue. It's certainly nothing all that new, but it was fun to read. I was pleased by that line with the "Lord Doom" because before that I thought you were pulling the same thing as the movies and having Victor have no ties to Latveria, but that line implies otherwise. My one real problem--and it's really not a problem--is you named Johnny's school as Central City High. As in DC Comics' Central City. I get schools use different names, and not all are "Manhattan High" or whatever, but it threw me off.
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Post by Drake on Sept 7, 2014 14:09:38 GMT -5
Nice issue. It's certainly nothing all that new, but it was fun to read. I was pleased by that line with the "Lord Doom" because before that I thought you were pulling the same thing as the movies and having Victor have no ties to Latveria, but that line implies otherwise. My one real problem--and it's really not a problem--is you named Johnny's school as Central City High. As in DC Comics' Central City. I get schools use different names, and not all are "Manhattan High" or whatever, but it threw me off.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Sept 7, 2014 15:02:09 GMT -5
Central City, CA was the original home for the Fantastic Four. Thanks for the reviews. Things will probably start to be a little more unique sooner rather than later. It's still early in the story though.
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Post by Drake on Sept 7, 2014 15:08:45 GMT -5
Wow. Really? Well, you learn something new every day.
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Post by adrini on Sept 7, 2014 16:28:44 GMT -5
It's origin story. There was only so much we could do, once it's out of the way there will be more wiggle room.
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Post by Stardrifter on Sept 8, 2014 23:12:38 GMT -5
I echo everyone else. Though Doom just kinda threw me off. There's no way a man named Doom can be so...nice. It was creepy.
Keep em coming.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Oct 30, 2014 23:33:00 GMT -5
Just giving a heads up that Fantastic Four will be up on time, just running close. It's in the editing phase now.
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Post by Drake on Nov 1, 2014 9:37:29 GMT -5
Alright, that was a fun issue! I think I liked the first a little better, but this one was certainly entertaining. Your Mole Man's an interesting new take on him, and I like the weird dream thing that's going on with Victor. Most of your voices are down pat, but there is one that needs a little work, which leads me to my first critique...
Reed. You're trying WAY too hard with him. My favorite example of this was "Can you verbally describe...?" It's so incredibly redundant. You're trying to make him sound smart, but as I said before, you're trying too hard. Lighten up a bit on that.
I also think you need to establish a direction fairly soon. Right now it's just "origin...." and that's really it. Give us a plot to look forward to, because right now, Victor's is the only one kicking butt for me.
8/10. I look forward to more.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Nov 1, 2014 9:55:20 GMT -5
In fairness, by the time I got to editing the scene with Reed, Johnny, and Ben, I was half-asleep so I wasn't 100% when I was finishing that up.
We have the plot pinned down for now. The first four issues are very much an origin story.
Also, this is Reed Richards. He is in an incredibly redundant egghead. It's at least partially to be played for laughs. If his "overly grandiose vocabulary" is something that annoys people though, I'll try to tone it down in the future though. I also take the blame for it since I added more of it during editing.
If it weren't obvious, I have huge plans for Victor and his future plot arcs.
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Post by Stardrifter on Nov 9, 2014 8:05:46 GMT -5
Not bad. I agree that Reed's dialogue was a little overdone. He should definitely talk with big, smart guy words but not to the point of being ridiculous. He sounded a bit robotic.
Certainly an interesting twist on the origin. I like throwing Pym and Janet in there too. If they don't make it into the Avengers maybe they can become the Sensational Six! Keep em coming.
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Post by All Star Silentking on Nov 10, 2014 12:57:09 GMT -5
My brain is shutting down on critiques, so I will say both issues are good and I agree with Drake about how Reed speaks.
8/10 overall
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Dec 19, 2014 3:31:14 GMT -5
Hey, you know what's fantastic?
A new Fantastic Four, that's what.
We tried toning down Reed's nerdspeak, and also tried to explain it in-story as a side effect of Reed freaking out when it's appropriate to freak out. Hopefully that works better now.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2014 16:38:44 GMT -5
I like this issue because it shines lots of light on Doom and his Latverian heritage. I, too, am noticing how robotic Reed is when he speaks. He's still a good character, though. It was great to see the four of them together.
This issue: 8.5/10
The title so far: 8/10
I really like this title, and I can't wait to read more.
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Post by Drake on Dec 19, 2014 18:08:15 GMT -5
Nice issue. You improved on a lot of your past faults. I like Wyatt's introduction and (I think) your twist on the character. Honestly, this issue didn't blow me away, but it was also quite good. Not much to say beyond that.
8.2/10
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Post by Stardrifter on Dec 21, 2014 16:35:09 GMT -5
I liked it. While Doom's history was awkwardly introduced as exposition to a man he had no reason to go that in depth to, I do like your version and the reason for the name Doom. I like seeing Doom be conflicted about his tough decisions at this stage too. It was nice to see the team come together.
Keep em coming.
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Post by thetrueelec on Dec 25, 2014 4:11:16 GMT -5
I liked Doom's backstory, and that you explained Reed's science babbling. I also loved the scene of Johnny having to push the cart, I actually got really excited while reading it.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 1, 2015 4:32:44 GMT -5
A new Fantastic Four is up.
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Post by Stardrifter on Feb 1, 2015 20:29:11 GMT -5
Pretty good. Everyone's freaked out level seems a bit low. Especially Wyatt. But other than that it was fun. I enjoyed the Clobberin' Time. I hope we get through to a status quo soon. The F4 should definitely be established before the Avengers. Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Feb 1, 2015 22:42:52 GMT -5
Pretty good. Everyone's freaked out level seems a bit low. Especially Wyatt. But other than that it was fun. I enjoyed the Clobberin' Time. I hope we get through to a status quo soon. The F4 should definitely be established before the Avengers. Keep em coming. To be fair, F4 takes place in 2003 as of now. The Avengers wouldn't be founded until 2015ish. Also, I quoted Star's review because that's essentially how I felt about this issue. The only thing I'd have to add is I still think you're trying too hard with Reed-speak. He's a super genius, far smarter than anyone alive on our real Earth, but he's still human. People, even intelligent people, don't go out of their way to sound smart. He'd have to have a serious superiority complex for his verbiage to make any sense, and that seems more like a Doom problem. 7.5/10. I've got to admit the ending got me really pumped!
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Post by All Star Silentking on Feb 1, 2015 23:21:33 GMT -5
People always said Reed and Doom are very like.
Also Ultimate universe.
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Post by Stardrifter on Feb 1, 2015 23:47:24 GMT -5
Ah I wasn't aware or forgot it was in the past. Makes sense then.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 2, 2015 0:43:51 GMT -5
Actually, it's 2000. The space station crash happens on the turn of the millenium. By the modern day the Fantastic Four will be well established, and people are free to reference them as such if they wish. Same with Doom and Latveria.
The reason their freak-out level is a bit low, as you put it, is twofold. First, from an in-story perspective, we're dealing with individuals who see ridiculously extravagant things done in the name of science every day. Reed works through things by taking them one piece at a time through a logical perspective. Johnny probably would be worse off if he wasn't still under the high of getting superpowers. Sue's already been through a different kind of hell recently. Ben is, well, Ben. Secondly, while in real life people would be understandably freaking out a lot more, in comics, or even fiction in general, it often doesn't make for a better story if the characters are too traumatized. Also, even though this is a prequel to the most of the Marvel shenanigans that go on today, this is still a universe with mutants and all sorts of crazy things.
As for Reed's Reed-speak, it's not a conscious choice. I've known many people in various academic fields who have to go out of their way to not use that kind of verbiage. It's not a superiority complex, so much as he sometimes forgets he's the smartest man in the room. Probably doesn't help that several people in his life probably can and do hold conversations with that kind of vocabulary.
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Post by Drake on Feb 2, 2015 8:59:02 GMT -5
Maybe I worded that incorrectly. I think his "intelligent" speak is unnatural. People absolutely speak with incredible vocabularies, but his felt unnatural.
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Post by adrini on Feb 2, 2015 13:24:09 GMT -5
I can see that, it's more something I do (I'm one of those people, he has to put up with me). We'll try to work on making it flow better.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Feb 28, 2015 11:48:54 GMT -5
New issue up.
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Post by Drake on Mar 4, 2015 17:58:35 GMT -5
Thought I reviewed this. Huh.
Anyway, this was a really good issue. You're definitely improving. The Reed-speak was a lot more realistic this time around. Your Ben Grimm is perfectly written. Johnny's pretty good, and while your Sue may not stand out she is also well written.
I hope we see a little more of the F4 struggling with their transformations once everything cools down. Ben in particular should be mad (and maybe angsty) as hell. Plus, we'll need some arguing and general disagreement among the team. That's classic F4 right there.
I like where this is headed. 8.5/10
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Post by Drake on Mar 5, 2015 11:43:23 GMT -5
Just noticed you guys are in continuity. Congrats!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 18:13:20 GMT -5
Great issue. Ben's fight with the monster was downright hilarious. I agree with Drake in that Reed sounds a lot more human in this issue. You guys are doing good work. Each character definitely stands out on his/her own. I'm too big a fan of Thing angst, but hey, if I was turned into some kind of rock creature, I guess I'd be pretty bummed, too.
This is the Grammar Nazi in me talking, but please, guys, don't be afraid of the comma. I noticed this most during dialogue. An example: "Word words words ya putz," or, "Words words words though." I'm not demanding you do this, but please put commas in front of things like "ya putz" and "though."
Yay! Continuity!
This issue: 8.5/10
The title so far: 8.75/10
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