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Post by Drake on Aug 6, 2015 12:12:11 GMT -5
11 is up!
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Aug 6, 2015 12:57:34 GMT -5
10
This was a good chapter. Nothing absolutely mind-blowing, but we get some much needed character development for some of your female cast. I don't have much to say because there's not much to criticize. Black Cat setting up a complicated hologram seems a bit much, especially when they're already leaving. At least she was nice and helped them pack. The teens not taking off Spider-Woman's mask and promising not to post the pics online makes them the most saintly teens in the world and was a tad unbelievable. You got some action, some drama, but plenty of character development which is where this chapter is focused.
11
Obviously I have a soft spot for the SHIELD stuff. Love the Dead End and I'll have to remember that one for my future SHIELD stuff.
Noticed you aren't censoring expletives anymore.
More good character development, but I feel like Rich and Peter's scene didn't have a lot happen for its length? I suppose we get more of the bromance, but it feels like the whole scene was a very long excuse for Rich to give Peter spoilers about Gwen and Harry.
Also, I know you've already used Flash Thompson, but for some reason Rider feels like this story's version of Flash.
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Post by Drake on Aug 6, 2015 14:43:59 GMT -5
Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked chapter 10!
Yeah, I stopped censoring cuss words. I don't know why. I meant to fit in a few more "goodies" in the Rich and Peter diner scene, but not only was I nearly at 4500 words, I also couldn't fit it into the flow of the conversation. I can definitely see why it almost feels like an excuse for that, because it was partly was. There was more to it, certainly, including the prior weirdo, freakout, sick thing with Rich, but a large part of it was to drop some bombs for potential drama later.
I realized as I was writing this chapter that--you're absolutely right--Rich is turning into the college version of Flash. He even has an alcoholic dad! Yeesh! I need to fix that. Hopefully the coming headache/sickness (or what that actually is) will help a little to differentiate between the two.
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Post by Sonny Daye on Aug 6, 2015 16:43:06 GMT -5
I just wanna say that you're making a bold move by making Harry gay. You have my deepest respects.
Now for the review. I'm not very good at this, so please bear with me. The breakout scene was kickass, to be completely honest. I'm liking your version of the S6. You seem to have a good understanding of the characters, and you handle them well. Was that place the Vault? I know the Vault is in Colorado, and they way you described the landscape supports it. Tell me if I'm wrong.
Rich is still the greatest character ever. The restaurant seen was well-done, but it was a tad rushed. Just a tad. Like, a little smidgen.
I'll give this issue an 8/10.
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Post by Drake on Aug 6, 2015 17:23:31 GMT -5
I just wanna say that you're making a bold move by making Harry gay. You have my deepest respects. Now for the review. I'm not very good at this, so please bear with me. The breakout scene was kickass, to be completely honest. I'm liking your version of the S6. You seem to have a good understanding of the characters, and you handle them well. Was that place the Vault? I know the Vault is in Colorado, and they way you described the landscape supports it. Tell me if I'm wrong. Rich is still the greatest character ever. The restaurant seen was well-done, but it was a tad rushed. Just a tad. Like, a little smidgen. I'll give this issue an 8/10. Two of my four best friends are gay and bi, respectively, and so it's personal for me that comics haven't addressed their lack of representation. I plan on fixing that as much as I can without forcing it in. Harry was not a character defined by his sexuality, unlike, say, Peter (although you could make Peter gay; it would just change a LOT of context, but that's another matter). So, I decided to take a leap and make him gay. On a similar note, MJ is bi-curious. I still haven't decided if she's going to be legitimately bi or if she's just going to experiment, like many college students. Thanks! I really enjoyed writing the breakout scene (although it was way longer than I anticipated)! That isn't the Vault. It's my own creation: Dead End, that, as you'll soon discover, is one of three supervillain prisons OsCorp has created. I'm glad you like Rich! He'll play a larger role in the story moving forward, particularly now that I'm mostly done with set up and world building. And the restaurant scene was rushed. I'll own that. I'm glad you guys seem to be liking the chapter! This arc is where I finally get to begin telling the Spider-Man story I've wanted to tell since I began the title. The clone crossover was on my bucket list, sure, but the actual plot itself is only now getting past the set up stage. This is where you'll see the stories get more serious, more fun, and hopefully more exciting!
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Post by thejellyfish on Aug 6, 2015 19:20:04 GMT -5
Honestly, I've been waiting for things to really kick off with this title for awhile now, glad to hear that's finally happening.
Great issue, although I might be biased as you referenced a lot of my issue (all of the references were great by the way). The Netflix thing made me facepalm though, because I had a lapse in common sense when I wrote that bit. All the stuff with Peter and Rich was great. I am worried for Rich though, and I like him, so don't kill him (also, he's probably gotta do something superhero related at some point, would be kind of a waste if you killed him).
I'm glad Peter's found out about Harry, finally. And you made the scene fun to read. Equally glad Peter knows that Gwen's father has a problem and is causing her to go through some stuff. A lot of fun is coming up for Peter Parker, although he won't be having fun. We will, because we get to read it.
PS: I bet Siri fucks up Peter's text to Blackie.
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Post by Drake on Aug 6, 2015 19:58:26 GMT -5
Honestly, I've been waiting for things to really kick off with this title for awhile now, glad to hear that's finally happening. Great issue, although I might be biased as you referenced a lot of my issue (all of the references were great by the way). The Netflix thing made me facepalm though, because I had a lapse in common sense when I wrote that bit. All the stuff with Peter and Rich was great. I am worried for Rich though, and I like him, so don't kill him (also, he's probably gotta do something superhero related at some point, would be kind of a waste if you killed him). I'm glad Peter's found out about Harry, finally. And you made the scene fun to read. Equally glad Peter knows that Gwen's father has a problem and is causing her to go through some stuff. A lot of fun is coming up for Peter Parker, although he won't be having fun. We will, because we get to read it. PS: I bet Siri fucks up Peter's text to Blackie. Thank you! As for Rich's fate....wait and see. Yeah, I've been meaning to have Peter find out about everything for a while now. For Christ's sake, the subtitle is "Sometimes the truth has a cost" and there's been basically no truth in this series beyond everyone and their grandma finding out Peter's secret ID. I'm FINALLY getting to it, the stories, the metaphors, the drama, the angst, and the meaning I've wanted to explore for almost a year now. So, on the plus side, while I have about 6 months left on Guardians, I'm in for the long haul with Spider-Man. LMFAO at your Siri point.
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Post by Sonny Daye on Aug 6, 2015 20:04:03 GMT -5
Drake I grew up in a homosexual household, so something like that really hits me close to home. I'm not gay, but because I was raised by people who are, some people think I am. I know I might be getting a bit personal, but I just want you to know what this means to me.
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Post by Drake on Aug 6, 2015 20:09:53 GMT -5
I take it completely seriously, don't worry. I'll do right by your parents. That's the point of Spider-Man, after all. Everyone can see themselves in him and his world.
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Post by Sonny Daye on Aug 6, 2015 20:15:11 GMT -5
Hell yes.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 9, 2015 10:25:52 GMT -5
Not bad. The escape scene was good. I don't recall Black Cat ever murdering people in the comics, but I'm not well versed either. It'll be interesting to see if you turn her anti-hero or go villain.
Pointlessly minor nitpick. The title needs a colon. The Other: Part 1. As it is, The Other Part 1 is reads like this is a second part 1, if you get my meaning.
Besides the break out scene it was a little dull. The cliffhanger needed a bigger punch, IMO. But still good. Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Aug 9, 2015 23:17:24 GMT -5
Not bad. The escape scene was good. I don't recall Black Cat ever murdering people in the comics, but I'm not well versed either. It'll be interesting to see if you turn her anti-hero or go villain. Pointlessly minor nitpick. The title needs a colon. The Other: Part 1. As it is, The Other Part 1 is reads like this is a second part 1, if you get my meaning. Besides the break out scene it was a little dull. The cliffhanger needed a bigger punch, IMO. But still good. Keep em coming. Thanks for reviewing! Black Cat kills, but she doesn't do it often. That's until recently, at least, when she's turned into a crime boss. That whole arc's been stupid, not because she's evil, but why she's evil. This is my take on it (hopefully with better story logic). As for if she'll ever go good....who knows? I gotcha. Honestly, I understand the issue, but I've labelled every issue that way, whether it's right or wrong, so I don't plan on fixing that anytime soon. Maybe I'll get to it in the future. I'm with you on the cliffhanger thing. As for the rest of the issue itself, sorry it wasn't to your liking.
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Post by Stardrifter on Aug 10, 2015 0:18:37 GMT -5
I didn't say it wasn't too my liking. I said it was kinda dull but good.
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Post by thejellyfish on Sept 30, 2015 23:14:51 GMT -5
Good. I won't lie, I really want more Guardians. But this is good. The Other is one of those weird comic arcs that no one talks about. It's not bad, but it's a big WTF. I'm a little surprised that you're going there. I know I often say I dislike "classic pairings," but a lot of it comes down to portrayal (although a good bunch of them were bad ideas from the start while others don't make sense in the context of current society). I really like your Gwen and Pete. It's fantastic. They're fantastic. Like, Ultimate Pete and MJ level, dude (yeah, I don't like main continuity Pete/MJ, but I dig Ultimate Pete/MJ, go figure). If Gwen isn't thinking that her little ruse (if it can be called that) is coming undone, she should be. I cannot wait to see how that whole thing blows up in everyone's face.
More Serval references makes me a happy camper (RIP All-New X-Factor, you beautiful cinnamon roll to pure for this world). I should probably reference the whole "fashion company" thing, shouldn't I? You think they make suits or is it just weird high fashion shit that gets walked down the runways in Paris, even though no one I their right minds would be caught dead those outfits on the streets?
How does it feel to technically predict a real comic storyline? Here, Peter works as Spider-Man for OsCorp. In Amazing Spider-Man, Spider-Man is Pete's "bodyguard" while Pete runs a company, technically making him a private superhero.
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Post by Drake on Oct 1, 2015 9:24:28 GMT -5
Serval's all around fashion. Plus, they have a superhero now, so there's that.
Yeah, I created Parker Industries before Dan Slott did in my Miles Morales run. It's weird. I don't know why the hell this keeps happening.
Thanks for the kind review! Guardians is coming....eventually. As for The Other, I think you'll like my take on everything. Like you, I'm very iffy on the whole concept. Take that as you will.
I'm incredibly happy you like Peter and Gwen. A lot of it is based on my experience with relationships, so it's fairly real for me. Also, I really wanted to get back to classic Spidey, romance roots with this story, so I'm glad I'm finally getting there. I think it was comixmaster who mentioned it, but Peter seems almost too happy, particularly at the start of the 3 month timeskip. There's a reason for that. My plans for him are slowly coming to fruition. again, take that as you will.
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Post by Stardrifter on Oct 3, 2015 13:30:51 GMT -5
1. Right off you threw me with "eerily calmly". Just awkward. 2. If Peter needs a cover job...why not Oscorp? This just seems needlessly complicated. He should just get some shit job at Oscorp that gives him reason to be there and allows Osborn and the others to assist his cover story.
But yeah, fun issue. Some of the quips were a little...too quippy. Some eye rollers there. And not just the ones that were meant to be. Maybe it's just me though. I enjoyed the action though. Would have been funnier if someone completely unrelated showed up too. And just wait till a fifth arachnid based hero shows up soon!
Keep em coming.
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Post by Drake on Oct 4, 2015 13:15:20 GMT -5
1. That is awkward. 2. It's like Iron Man being Tony Stark's bodyguard, or now Spider-Man being Peter Parker's bodyguard--it's too obvious.
I wrote this as a decompression issue, meaning I wanted to make myself laugh so I essentially wrote whatever came to mind, quip-wise. I can understand if a number of them fell flat.
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Post by Sonny Daye on Oct 6, 2015 10:31:47 GMT -5
That's why I had people know that Tony is Iron Man right off the bat. Too obvious.
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Post by DiscipleofBob on Nov 2, 2015 16:59:09 GMT -5
I thought I was farther behind with reading this. I'm both happy that I've managed to not fall behind and saddened by only having one chapter to read.
First things first though: Gwen's line about the dark side and cookies was the best quip of the chapter. Sorry Pete.
The more SHIELD and HYDRA and the F4 and Latveria get mentioned, the more I want I do crossover stuff.
I really believe of all your titles, Spider-Man is definitely your sweet spot. No matter what new characters or twists you pull, the title is always interesting and a very fun read. If I absolutely had to lodge a complaint, it would be that I always hated the spider totem and related stuff in the Marvel universe and always thought it made no sense for a character whose powers are scientific in origin. It's mostly ignorable though.
Keep em coming!
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Post by Drake on Nov 2, 2015 17:11:14 GMT -5
I thought I was farther behind with reading this. I'm both happy that I've managed to not fall behind and saddened by only having one chapter to read. First things first though: Gwen's line about the dark side and cookies was the best quip of the chapter. Sorry Pete. The more SHIELD and HYDRA and the F4 and Latveria get mentioned, the more I want I do crossover stuff. I really believe of all your titles, Spider-Man is definitely your sweet spot. No matter what new characters or twists you pull, the title is always interesting and a very fun read. If I absolutely had to lodge a complaint, it would be that I always hated the spider totem and related stuff in the Marvel universe and always thought it made no sense for a character whose powers are scientific in origin. It's mostly ignorable though. Keep em coming! Just wait....
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Post by Drake on Dec 6, 2015 22:19:04 GMT -5
13 is up!
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Post by thejellyfish on Dec 7, 2015 1:30:13 GMT -5
ABOUT DAMN TIME! It's all out there, everyone knows, woo woo and whatever.
Good chapter, but the Adele stuff was weird. The suit was cool. The Other is a weird storyline in general and I find it odd that you're doing it, but you're doing it well so that's good.
Also, if the symbiote isn't beaten through the use of MLG airhorns, then shame upon your house, sir.
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Post by Drake on Dec 7, 2015 9:38:17 GMT -5
ABOUT DAMN TIME! It's all out there, everyone knows, woo woo and whatever. Good chapter, but the Adele stuff was weird. The suit was cool. The Other is a weird storyline in general and I find it odd that you're doing it, but you're doing it well so that's good. Also, if the symbiote isn't beaten through the use of MLG airhorns, then shame upon your house, sir. Was the Adele scene just weird as a concept, or weirdly executed, or what? I want to make sure to improve my stories. I will say that there will be more Spider-advertising in the future. It's part of the corruption that's happening with Peter and the Spider-Man concept in general. The Other is a really weird storyline that goes against Peter's character and the essence of Spider-Man. That's all I'll say. MLG airhorns might actually be involved--not joking--but that's the only hint I'll give about that. I don't want to repeat the same damn clocktower scene.
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Post by Drake on Dec 20, 2015 14:00:19 GMT -5
New issue is up!
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Post by thejellyfish on Dec 20, 2015 14:41:16 GMT -5
The Adele scene in 13 was weirdly executed. Ads are supposed to be fake, but this was too fake.
14 was good. More Rich is good. Carla experiencing mysogony in her own mind made me root for her for just a little bit, but then I remembered that she's trying to kill Spider-Man, that's a bad.
"Black v-neck t-shirt and black jeans." That's pretty stylin', Pete. What's next, you gonna get an emo haircut and dance in the middle of the sidewalk? And who the hell is Brian? George seemed awfully attached to that one photo.
Peter is edgy now. HE'S EEEEEXXXXXTTTTTRRRRREEEEEMMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!
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Post by Drake on Dec 20, 2015 14:59:01 GMT -5
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Post by thejellyfish on Dec 20, 2015 15:07:43 GMT -5
My phone did a dumb, I fixed it.
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C_Miller
Junior Member
All-Star Marvel's Honorary Canadian
Posts: 102
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Post by C_Miller on Dec 20, 2015 20:07:41 GMT -5
I am not caught up any really anything at this site. That will come with time. I want to work on my first issue of Iron Man while I still have some momentum. But I did read your most recent issue. Without knowing what was going on, I really enjoyed it. You have a solid command of dialog, but more than that you have a solid sense of character. Every character had their own voice and I really got an idea of who they are based on the conversations. You also did a decent job maintaining several story lines, which to me is emblematic of the Spider-Man Universe.
Great job. I really look forward to keeping up with this one.
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Post by Drake on Dec 20, 2015 20:09:28 GMT -5
I am not caught up any really anything at this site. That will come with time. I want to work on my first issue of Iron Man while I still have some momentum. But I did read your most recent issue. Without knowing what was going on, I really enjoyed it. You have a solid command of dialog, but more than that you have a solid sense of character. Every character had their own voice and I really got an idea of who they are based on the conversations. You also did a decent job maintaining several story lines, which to me is emblematic of the Spider-Man Universe. Great job. I really look forward to keeping up with this one. Thanks! I'm glad you stopped by to offer that!
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Post by Drake on Dec 20, 2015 23:24:35 GMT -5
15 is up!
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